What is 1+4x : No i will not take my pants off!

Why was Six afraid of Seven? Seven was in a horrible car accident recently and became very disfigured. He didn't tell Six, so the initial shock of seeing him for the first time was quite jarring for Six. Seven has had multiple surgeries since and, once the swelling recedes, he should look much better. It will still hurt for him to chew though.

How many squirrels does it take to change a light bulb? As they can't find any, they are just squirrels, they can not asist little timmy choking on the lightbulb rolling around on the floor.

What has two legs and bleeds a lot? Half a dog.

Q: why does the cat go out of the house by the window A: It doesn't the window is closed

Knock Knock Who's there? The police. The police who? Your son has been in a car accident and has died.

How do you make a Chef cry? You kill his family.

Your Momma is sooooo poor, she struggles day by day to feed you and your 8 siblings while keeping a roof over your head.

Asians.

Your momma is so fat, shes skinny.

oh, brown loaf is fine, i'm on my bike.

Q: what do you call a man eating some chicken ? A: a hungry man (hahahahahahaha.......i should get a life)

What did Electra give her Dad for his birthday? Head. That's why her name is Electra.

Why did the chicken cross the road? I don't know, nor does the chicken because it's a chicken.

Of course, the capacity to create a better society, is well within the natural limits of humankind, we do not need Gods in order to be strong, honorable kind, respectful, and so on, we do not need empty promises. We only need, to use our potential as humans, believe in it, and do our best only, if we desire the best results, take care of those that suffer, and believe that they will be there for us when we need them. We can all do it, humanity, yet choosing a lifestyle where we become peasants or soldiers, all promised happiness AFTER we have lived our lives, is what the people have decided. This is the extent of the average man and woman, even if it is far beyond the power of humanity.

What do you call a Mexican that doesn't have a lawn mower? An honest working induvidual that just so happens to live in the city and does not own a lawn mower

What is the difference between a seal and an armadillo? They are both aquatic animals, except for the armadillo.

Why did the boy cry when he got circumcised? Because he couldn't fap.

What's long and really hard? The fourth grade.

How did I do in the running events? Not that good, I'm a paraplegic.

What did the baseball coach say to his son? Nothing. He was dead.

We start counting at 1, therefore 0 is countless. I've slept with countless women.

What do you call a spaceman on Mars? Confused, because with the current technology it is impossible to send a human into space and onto Mars.

A horse walks into a bar. The bartender does not ask about its facial characteristics, because he is wondering why there is a horse standing in his bar.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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