Why did the 18 year old girl take her clothes off? To take a shower

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What do accountants do when they're constipated? Take a laxative and eat plenty of fiber.

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How did the black man get a car? He bought it.

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what do you call a black guy falling down a hill? A hiker with an inconveniance you racist son of a bitch

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Two dogs are sitting by a fire hydrant. One turns to the other and says absolutely nothing because dogs can't speak.

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Out of Jill, Jason, Jesse, Jane and Harold, which one is the odd one out? Jason, because he only has one arm.

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Why did Timmy fall off the swing? Because he had no arms Why did Suzie fall off the swing? Because I kicked her in face! Why didn't she get back up? Because she didn't have any friends!

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Q: Why did the kid drop his icecream cone? A: Because he couldn't hold it he lost his arms in a car accident.

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Ryan O'Sullivan likes to suck his own penis. - Ryan O'Sullivan.

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Why did the man with seasonal allergies not take his medication? He had liver disease...read the fine print

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roses are red, violets are blue, niggers are black and so is my poo

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What do you get if you cross a fairy cake with some boiled parsnips? Fladgemuffin

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Barack Obama, Mother Teresa and Stephen Hawkings had race. Who won? Barack Obama. This deduction can be made as Stephen Hawking is severely disabled by a motor neurone disease known as amyotrophic lateral sclerosis. Henceforth, he has very limited control over the majority of his body and is confined to a electric wheel chair. Thus, he could not participate competitively in the race. Moreover, Mother Teresa is dead. This unfortunate occurrence was caused by several myocardial infarctions in combination with pneumonia. Regardless of this, Mother Teresa's meek and frail build would slower her speed considerably; in comparison to Barack Obama's relatively athletic and robust frame. Nonetheless, President Obama is a smoker. Therefore, he may experience symptoms associated with emphysema during the race, causing him to retire. As such no-one would finish the race, leaving the spectators feeling very disappointed and empty.

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How do the Kardashians change a light bulb? They buy a new mansion

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When geese fly south, why is one side of the V usually longer than the other? There are more geese on that side.

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what did the tree say when it fell down? Nothing it is humanly impossible for a tree to talk. Especially after it fell down. I mean that would hurt.

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What makes Stephen Hawking such a lame scientist??? A: He has a debilitating disease, it's called ALS.

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How is a fat girl like a tiny motorcycle? She isn't, and you should be ashamed of yourself for even thinking how she might be.

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What did the politician say to the bank robber? "Were both robbers"

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if ruddel jumped on your back what do you do leave him on or pull him offf? shoot him.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because it was a stupid chicken wandering around.

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A policeman asks a suspect in a murder investigigation about his alibi. The suspect gives him a solid alibi. The suspect go's home to his wife and have dinner.

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whats black, dirty, and full of trash? A trash can

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what did the black guy get from churches chicken? fried chicken.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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