Man I just flew in from Pittsburgh...Boy are the people ugly.

Actually, Red Bull helps temporarily restore wakefulness when experiencing fatique or drowsiness.

When I was in 4th grade, I was fat. The other kids would take my lunch and spit in all the food, then give it back. Teachers started to wonder why I wasn't eating, and soon began to ask me if I was anorexic. I replied, "do I look anorexic!?" I'm now 6 foot 3 and weigh 56 pounds. *FUN FACT: based on a heartwarming true story.

How did the farmer stop the chicken from swearing? Cutting it's head off, skinning it, plucking it's feathers and cooking it on a medium heat for about an hour. He then served it up to his family with green beans, mash and parsnips.

Who let the dogs out? Their owner because he had come to the rational conclusion that they were cooped up in their cage all night and were in serious need of relieving themselves and needed love and affection

What did the african child get for christmas? Abducted.

Q:John has 50 candy bars and he eats 45, what does john have? A: Diabetes

What do you call a really bad band? Nickelback.

What's better than doing the Hannah Montana's hoedown-throwdown? Throwin' that ho down.

how did the blonde get a concussion? she didnt see the pole in front of her.

Why do black men like bit butts? Because they can not lie.

Q:What do you call chocolate without a gag reflex? A: Choc-o-late (Choke a lot)

What is black and is good at stealing stuff? a ninja.

Roses are red, Violets are blue, I have Alzheimer's, Who are you?

Whats the difference between a house and a truck? Ones a truck the other one is a house

every knight i see an owl at window

Whats the difference between cake and dead babies? Cakes make people happy while dead babies are a sad and disturbing sight to see.

You've been in robotics too long if you start talking to your tools. You've been in there way too long if they start talking back!

Whats worse than sourcraut? Casey Anthony.

Whats worse than a dog biting you? Cancer.

How many blondes does it take to screw in a lightbulb? One.

What did Rebecka black say on Thursday? Today is thursday.

how does a chinese chick check if she's pregnant? swallows a rubix cube and if it comes out solved shes pregnant

yo mama so fat she decided to go on a diet :)

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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