What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? Finding two worms.

How do you blind an Asian? Rip out his eyeballs.

So a baby seal walks into a club...

P1: knock knock P2: go away!!!

How do you know if elephants are watching a movie? If a Volkswagen Beetle is parked outside the movie house.

What has 4 legs and if it fell out of a tree it would kill you a pool table

Why the West African Rhino is extinct? They were never Horny

Two homosexuals walk into a bedroom, and begin to have sex.

Why was the black guy in jail He was a jail guard

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Why did the chicken cross the road? I don't know why the fuck he crossed the road, I don't know what he is thinking.

If you're having girl problems, I feel bad for you, son... Because I can empathise with you, and it's not a very nice situation to be in. Hope you work it out.

A black man and a Mexican are in a car. Who's driving? The cop. The two men were best friends who had taken off from their law firm. Alex had recently gone through a divorce and John decided to take him on a trip backpacking across Europe. One rainy night an off-duty police officer picked them up and took them out for drinks. The friends had a wonderful trip. But Alex never got over Jenny leaving him. 3 months later John found him dead in his home by auto-erotic asphyxiation.

Obama being reelected.

(SAY KATCHUP AND LICKER AFTER EVERY SENTENCE) FOR BREAKFEAST I HAD (KATCHUP AND LICKER) FOR LUNCH I HAD I SEE MY GIRL FRIEND AT THE MALL SO I (KATCH UP AND LICK HER

What did the hispanic say to the black guy? I'm not sure. I wasn't listening because eavesdropping is rude.

A man on a plane convened his stupid flyer that instead of who in knock-knock jokes it what were, he thought it would funny. Later it really paid off, as they fly very close over water he says "knock knock" "whose there" " Captain Neverlands" "Captain Neverlands wh-...were" "Captain Neverlands IN WATER YOU DUMMY!!!!"

A panda walks into a restaurant, sits down and orders a sandwich. After he finishes eating the sandwich, the panda pulls out a gun and shoots the waiter, and then stands up to go. "Hey!" shouts the manager. "Where are you going? You just shot my waiter and you didn't pay for your sandwich!" The panda yells back at the manager, "Hey man, I am a PANDA! Look it up!" The manager's heart skipped a beat, and he locked himself inside his office, trembling with fear and confusion. Yes, it was plausible that a beast such as that could point to a random entry on the menu, and it was physically possible for it to pull the trigger of the gun (and, at such close proximity to the waiter, it would be pretty hard to miss him), but it was shocking and altogether disturbing to hear such an animal speak in human language, much less vernacular English.

Why did the boy fail his test? He didn't study.

Doctor! Doctor! There is a fly in my soup! Moral: Huh?

A black man and a midget walk into a bar. They notice the beverages are unreasonably priced so they leave.

Why did Sally fall of the swing set? Because she got hit with a mattress

Why was Armando unable to be found by his friend Ashley ? A: They both were murdered 7 years ago, and bodies are unable to do anything if they lost their soul that was with that body.

wat is osama bin ladin's favorite sport grenade catch

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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