How do you make someone stop talking? Shove a rock down their throat.

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To mamma so fat..............nuff said

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what do you have to do to confuse a blond? Nothing

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What did the man with no arms say to the jewish man? I have no arms.

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Q: What do you call a dog with metal balls and two-inch legs? A: Animatronic

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Why did Bill fall out if his chair? He was hit by an airplane.

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What did little Mindy Granger find on her paper route? Human teeth.

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What's 2+2? Gonorrhea

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If a blonde and a brunette fell off a cliff who would reach the ground first? The blonde because she was fatter.

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The man that loved birds so much that he played golf just to get a birdie.

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Q: What did the Catholic man say in response to the gay man asking what he likes to do? A: golf

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Q: Why did the chicken cross the road? A: In order to avoid being mauled by a coyote.

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What's worse than AIDS Nothing can possibly be worse than finding out you have AIDS

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Whats black and blue and doesnt bruise? a bruise.

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Why did the boy fall down the stairs? Because he tripped.

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A man says hello to his best friend in the morning like he always does. Why did his best friend not reply? The mans best friend is not real and is actually a figment of the mans imagination because he has been suffering from a severe case of schizophrenia his whole life and has many imaginary friends.

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What did the hat say to the scarf? Nothing.

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? It was dead...

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A red and blue penguin are taking showers. The red penguin can't find the soap so he yells down the hall to the blue penguin "Hey, where is my soap?" The blue penguin replies, "What do I look like a typewriter?"

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Where did Officer Blackman find the missing child? A shallow grave.

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What did the mother do when she find out her daughter left for the party? Nothing. She realized her daughter was old enough to make mature descions.

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Why was sally mopping the floor? Because she was a slave

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What hurts more than a papercut? A chainsaw between your legs.

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What's long, brown, and in the toilet? The chocolate bar I just threw in the toilet.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops