whats worse than bitting into ur apple and finding a worm? bitting into ur apple an finding out u have just murded noddy and his family who were making a nice little home in there

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A man sees another man sitting on a bench with a pickle in his ear. He asks the man "Why do you have a pickle in your ear?" The other man replies "What? I couldn't hear you because I have a pickle in my ear."

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A man name Bill works 12 hours a day at a warehouse, almost everyday a week. It is a hard job but Bill does it to support his beautiful wife of many years. Bill thinks the long hard days are worth every moment he gets to spend with her. One night, after a hard day, he comes home to find another man in bed with his wife. Bill begins to sob and yell "I work 12 hours a day at a warehouse....." His wife yells back. "We already read this part, get to the punchline".

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A train conducter conducts at 60mph, when he goes under a bridge he goes at 52mph. When he goes over a hill he goes at 47mph, if he goes under 2 bridges and over 3 hills what did the conductors mother have for dinner that night. Nothing she was raped then promptly murdered.

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Q: What did the poor man do when he saw a Ferrari? A: He realized that he would really enjoy having the money to buy such a nice vehicle, so he decided to take it upon himself to enroll in night classes. After many years of hard work, he earned a degree and a high-paying position at a large software corporation, and bought his dream car. He often told the story to his children as an example of what hard work and a goal in mind could achieve you. He lived a long, productive life and died fulfilled.

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Bad grammers.

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lol i'm going to hell for laughing at this shit

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Why is there such a big box because there is some writing down here :)

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what worse then stepping on a lego? watching your son kill your wife

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Why isn't Abraham Lincoln on Mount Rushmore? Because he doesn't have a helicopter and he's dead.

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What's the difference between a black guy and a bucket of chicken? A lot.

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Two muffins are sitting next to each other in the dessert. A hungry and lost man passes by and considered eating one of the muffins. Unfortunately he can't make a decision in time and took of in his 4-wheel drive. The next day a camel walks by and eats one of the muffins. The camel dies instantly, apparently the muffin the camel ate was poisoned. The now not so hungry and lost man looks at the dead camel and noticed the zoo is almost closing now. So he left in a hurry, to cook for his family.

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Q. What's the difference between a pile of dead babies and a trampoline? A. I don't were cleats when I jump on my trampoline.

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A man used a ruler to measure his foot, it was size 11

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How do you piss off a moose? You throw popcorn at it

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I like U.............................nicorns :D

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Knock knock. Who's there? The Grim Reaper. The Grim Reaper who? Joking with me will not postpone your death.

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Why did the car stop To buy drugs

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Why are Americans so fat? Poor diet and lack of exercise.

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What's more fun then spinning a dead baby around on a clothesline at 50 miles an hour? Stopping it with a shovel.

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Q: What did the bulbasaur say to the charmanderr?? A: bulbasaurrr

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Whats black and white all over? Michael Jackson

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What do you get when you mix a burrito and an earthworm? Diaherea

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"What the hell is wrong with you?" "..."

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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