A mushroom walks into a bar and the bartender says "We don't serve your kind here." and then the mushroom walks out.

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What's the difference between a duck? An orange.

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What did one penguin say to the other Nothing, penguins don't talk.

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A black man and a white man were both pulled over for street racing. They both were also found to be drunk driving. Only the black man was arrested. It turns out the black man had just massacred an entire Amish village before going street racing to celebrate.

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On the next line im going to write a joke: George W. Bush

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What do you call a man who interru- SHUT UP!

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what is long black and smelly the welfare line

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Which does does the Mississippi River flow in? Liquid.

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What did the normal guy say when he went to the Special Olympics? What a bunch of retards.

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What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? Finding half a worm in your apple.

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What do dogs and whales have in common? They both live in the ocean. Apart from the dog.

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Hey, did you guys hear what happened the Steve Jobs? He died.

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A man walked into a bar. He got drunk. What did u think he'd do, have coke-a-cola? Dumbass.

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What happened when the white man went to Nigiria? He turned gray.

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You got yourself a mole, I suggest you restrict all access to any and everyone that could possibly go under aliases such as: The Wiz. Azure. Dungeon Lord. Dice. Wizard, and anything similar, he is most likely a computer geek which does not necessarily look like one.

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What do you call a black astronaut? An astronaut you racist

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In the attic lights Voices scream Nothin' seen Real's the dream Leaving the things that are real behind Leaving the things that you love from mind All of the things that you learned from fears Nothin' is left for the years Voices scream Nothin' seen Real's the dream Toys, toys, toys In the attic Toys, toys, toys In the attic Toys, toys, toys In the attic Toys, toys, toys In the attic Lights, voices scream Nothin' seen Real's the dream Leaving the things that are real behind Leaving the things that you love from mind All of the things that you learned from fears Nothin' is left for the years Voices scream Nothin' seen Real's the dream Toys, toys, toys In the attic Toys, toys, toys In the attic Toys, toys, toys In the attic Toys, toys, toys In the attic Toys, toys, toys In the attic Toys, toys, toys In the attic Toys, toys, toys In the attic

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Gotta go Mark Gotta go Mark MARK MARKMARKMARK! Moving at the speed of mark I'm the quickest mark around Got ourselves a mark Start getting a new mark Without any mark On top of mark! Go- Go- Go- Don't mark Don't mark Just markmarkmarkmark! mark, he's on the run mark, he's number one mark, he's coming next so watch out for mark X! Gotta go mark, gotta go mark mark mark markmarkmark Go go go go go go go go go! marrrrrkkk X!!

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why did jimmy stop eating his breakfast two Penn state officials knocked at the door

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Why did the monkey cross the road? It didn't. It died!

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What do blueberries, oranges, watermelons, doors, curtains, backpacks, spoons, asian men, bicycles, asian men on bicycles, shrimp, books, eagles, dinosaurs, watermelons wearing backpacks filled with shrimp and orange spoons, feet, limes, binders, paper, candles, chicken nuggets, tvs, chairs, floors, refridgerators, and humidifiers have in common? Barnes and Noble

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Why couldn't the man read? Because he was illiterate

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Roses are red Violets are blue Flesh is green When the dead start to rise you're on my team

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What do you call a moose with a 12 gauge shotgun bullet through it's head? Open Season

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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