Q: what happened to the man who dropped the soap? A: nothing, he casually bent over and picked it up.

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How do you make your grandma fly? Push her off the back of a plane.

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what do you call a man with no arms or legs sitting at your doorstep? matt what do you call a man with no arms or legs floating in the water? bob what do you call a man that just had his daughter taken away from him? ...sam

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Why did the police suspect a Hispanic man of theft? Because they found his fingerprints at the scene.

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What do you call a sleeping bull? Don't call him anything and back away slowly.

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why did the chicken cross the road who's there and the man died of cancer congradulations! your preganant

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Alister Darling plucks his eyebrows.

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wHY DIDN'T THE HORSE FINISH COLLEGE? HIS GRANT RAN OUT AN HE COULDN'T GET ANOTHER STUDENT LOAN.

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What happend to the Jew when he was near the fire place He very carefully tended to it

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What is furry, red, and flat? Road kill.

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If you add two 1's together its 11 if you add two 2's together its 22 If you add two 3's together its 33 So what happens if you add 4 and 4? No you dumb-ass its not 44, its 8

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How do you keep an idiot in suspense..............

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purple pickles

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A blonde walks into a bar therefore her face hurts

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Three girls are eating icecream one girl sucks on her icecream the second girl licks on her icecream and the third girl bites on her icecream. Q: Which of the three girls is married? A: The girl with the wedding ring.

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whats 2+2 equal? 4

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Q: what do u call a plane that flies A: a plane

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What do you call a Black guy who flies planes? A pilot

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Can everyone please stop posting shit about my girlfriend because it seriously isnt cool.

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What do you call a cat that gets pushed into the pool? Angry as hell.

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Why did the little boy cry? Because his parents were shot in the face while he was forced to watch you insensitive jerk Now walk away ????

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69

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Chuck Norris was once approached by a woman for whom he had to fight a man to obtain all while doing a mundane activity in an unorthodox manner. He promptly declined for he is married and told the man he only fights for self-defense. He proceeded to put his pants on one leg at a time like everybody else.

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Why couldn't the black baby swim? Babies do not posses the muscular capacity nor technique to enable them to properly swim.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops