A man asked Alexander the Great if he was gay, yet Alexander the Great was not offended. Why? Because "gay" has a rather different connotation than in the modern world than it did in earlier time periods where it meant "happy". Also, Macedonians, Alexander the Great's native people, did not speak English so he would not understand the question. Also Alexander the Great was gay in the sense that he was actually a homosexual.

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You're an Irish male that walks into a bar full of Mexicans. Upon entering you are approached by two topless women. ....You realize you have been coming to the same sleazy strip club on the edge of town every night after work for the past few years. After seeing that you have gradually become completely bald and neglect your two children and wife, you recognize your extreme depression. Strippers now see you as a consistent, "paying customer" and you proceed seek psychiatric care, while being prescribed anti-depressants. The Mexicans at the bar are hard working, tax-paying citizens that would like to provide an education for their children.

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a horse walks into a bar. the barman asks "why the long face". not understanding human language, the horse takes a shit, neighs then leaves

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a man walks into a bar the other man ducks

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Knock, Knock Who's there Cluck Cluck who? Cluck cluck cluck cluck cluck - proceed to bob head and flap wings - cluck cluck cluck cluck cluck cluck

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What is yellow, and cannot swim? A School Bus.

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Why couldn't Michael J. Fox draw a perfect circle? Because he has parkinsons and therefore couldn't keep his hand steady.

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A pirate walks into a bar, and the bartender asks, "why do you have a wheel in your pants?"

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What do you call a guy with a car on his head? Immediate identification would not be possible. The man would be referred to by his estimated demographics. Circumstantial evidence and dental reports may be required for identification at which points the family's would be notified. Only after this will the man's name would be released to the media who would in turn report this.

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"Everyone be very quite. Dont say a word or well get eaten by the big, fat stupid ugly fat faced dinosaur in that cave over there." "A word or well get eaten by the big fat stupid ugly fat faced dinosaur in that cave over there." "Look how clever Charles is now were all screwed."

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A black man is pulled over doing 66 in a 65 zone. He asks the officer what the problem is and the officer says his left tail light is out

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Knock Knock F*ck of I'm watching p0rn

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Q. When you drink two 5 hour energies, do you get 10 hours of energy or double the energy for 5 hours? A. You die

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John has 32 candy bars, he eats 28..what does he have now? Diabetes.

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A monkey and his owner walk into a bar they sit down at the bar... I dont know the rest of the joke but your moms a whore

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what worse then stepping on a lego? watching your son kill your wife

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Every zoo is a petting zoo if you're not a pussy

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LOL we are spamming this site too much!

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Refrigerator

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why don't you hit a black guy on a bike? because its probably your bike

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your life

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why did he cat not land on its feet? it had 2 legs amputated due to cancer and animal abuse

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What do you do if a blonde throws a pin at you? Run, 'cause she's got a grenade in her mouth!

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Your mom is so dumb that she had a below average score on her IQ test.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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