Roses are Dead, Voilets are, too Now shut up and say nothing Because we're watching you

thumb_up thumb_down -17

why didn't the unicorn have a horn? It was a horse. Why didn't the horse have a horn? it was not a unicorn.

thumb_up thumb_down -17

How many Hairdressers does it take to change a lightbulb. Usually one.

thumb_up thumb_down -17

WOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO

thumb_up thumb_down -17

So a man walks into a hospital to see his dying wife..... walks into her room falls over and then dies

thumb_up thumb_down -17

How do you stop a bus? throw a boy with an ice cream cone infront of the bus. but...come to think of it, that may not work. he might drop the ice cream on top of it >:l

thumb_up thumb_down -17

Roses are red, violets are purple.

thumb_up thumb_down -17

Unconventional thinking Something else out of one: So sometimes I feel there is something I want right? But I don't feel like I deserve it yet or i hesitate although I fucking want it So I go home, decide to take my time before I decide to buy it, and sit my ass on a chair covered with spikes until I decide it is time to get it, Moral 1: You want to take the better decision but don't feel time is right? Some spikes up your ass is not only the perfect way to change your mind, but in this case an excellent metaphor to why you want to keep doing whats best for you. Moral best: Think if you could get all that time you spent hesitating back, would that not be awesome? What if you just stop hesitating now? Would that not be aweso... Go fuckyourself... Nerometal Fuck Neronism... Cool name though

thumb_up thumb_down -17

How do you stop a black man from spitting? People of all races and colours are quite within their right to spit on their own property whenever they wish. However if anyone spits on or near you, you could report him to the police, but don't expect to be taken seriously.

thumb_up thumb_down -17

Why did the snappy dresser take a button off of a coat? To see a button fly! NO YOU IDIOT YOU DID IT WRONG, IT'S SUPPOSED TO ABOUT ABOUT A "BUTTER FLY" OMG YOU DOLT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

thumb_up thumb_down -17

what happened to the cripple after he got in a wheel chair? cancer of the eye

thumb_up thumb_down -17

What did the ocean say to the other ocean????? What Nothing they just waved ???? Oh Do you sea what I did there ???? No I'm shore you did ???? By Erin

thumb_up thumb_down -17

Q: How did Helen Keller cross the street? A: She walked.

thumb_up thumb_down -17

A man is driving and hits a woman. Who's fault is it? The man's: pedestrians always have the right of way.

thumb_up thumb_down -17

Why didn't the little asian kid go to his friends party? Because he wasnt invited.

thumb_up thumb_down -17

Yo Momma so fat, that the doctor prescribed her prescription drugs that deal with her eating disorder and recommended that she begin a low calorie diet and live a more active lifestyle.

thumb_up thumb_down -17

Jacob licked out his buthole again. It was becoming a usual thing for him to do, it suddenly became one of his hobbies and wanted to lick more, so he started licking MR. Macs

thumb_up thumb_down -17

Math Problem: John has 32 candy bars. He eats 28 of them. What does he have now? Diabetes. John has diabetes.

thumb_up thumb_down -17

25

thumb_up thumb_down -17

Why did the old man fall down the stairs? Because he was on his wheelchair.

thumb_up thumb_down -17

I DO NOT CARE ABOUT NOVA! MY NAME IS VIKTOR REZNOV! AND I WILL HAVE MY REVENGE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

thumb_up thumb_down -17

Your mom is so fat, she had a heart attack and died. It was very sad and she will be missed.

thumb_up thumb_down -17

Roses are red Violets are blue I like peanut butter Can you fly?

thumb_up thumb_down -17

knock knock. who's there? interrupting cow. interrupting cow wh... You mom's a wh0re.

thumb_up thumb_down -17

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops