Why did Jenny fail her driving test? She was hit by a train.

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how do you know if your friend is your best friend? if he cries you cry, if he laughs you laughs, if he jumps out a window you laugh again.

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Roses are red Violets are blue... Violets are not blue they are actually purple

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Hi... your father has testicular cancer and he will die in 2 months....

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Why do jews get their foreskin cut off? Because they're jewish.

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Why did the little girl cry? Because she had just witnessed the slaughter of her entire family and friends in front of her eye, leaving her not only peerless and alone, but also with the mental scars which come with witnessing such a harrowing ordeal.

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because he was dead

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What do you call a Black Man in the ocean? A scuba diver

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What do you call cat that is on fire? Nigel.

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How many Alzheimer's patients does it take to change a light bulb? To get to the other side -Tag

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A rapist, black guy, and a homophob walk into a bar and the bartender says nice game last night kobe.

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What's green and fuzzy, and if it fell out of a tree it could kill you? A Pool Table.

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You know what happened when I kissed a girl? I enjoyed it so immensely that I received an erection.

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roses are red violets are blue if u wanna fight call 111 ( we r in new zealand)

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Man walks into a bar and goes, "Ouch!"

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Knock knock Who's there? To To who? No, Sir, it is "to whom"

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Why couldnt the dog bark? The dog didnt exist.

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Where did Susie go during the explosion? On her knees to catch it.

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You know how I felt about Nero, no way id ever date anyone but you, back then that is. Fine I will come along, I bet you left the base at "point zero" without the information he left, you have not changed a bit Seth, always too impulsive for your own good, but Nero was always like that and that, turned out, well damn. Tell me first, if you come get me, how much have you really changed mentally from the last time we met? You sincerely sound like a psychopath and I could use a shoulder to cry on rather than be escorted to some sick torture dungeon thing. I gather you are not far away, could you please get over here asap? I do not care about more than the standard code anymore, you have not changed much, except you are a deranged psychopath now, I get it, in your place I think id do the same, I have no idea how bad Nero was doing when you found him, and I sure as hell dont want to know.

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What's worse than getting hit by a bus? Getting hit by two buses.

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What do you call Jake Morter? Jake Morter

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How do you kill a zombie? You don't. Zombies aren't real.

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Why didn't the girl's ring fit? She had no fingers.

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What do you call an old man who took too much viagra? And ambulance, because he could possibly get a heart attack from the fluctuations in blood pressure

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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