Why did the milk man cry? Cause you killed his family.

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How many kids does Buzz Light Year have? To infinity and beyond!!

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Yo' mama's so fat she has type 2 diabetes.

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How do you blind an Asian? Rip out his eyeballs.

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Why did Lisa spill her drink? Her plane crashed.

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Prince of bell air with Keanu Reeves: SMIIIIIIIIIIITH! DID YOU DESTROY MY COUCH? Neo: ... WELL DID YOU BOTHER CARLTON DOING HIS STUFF? Neo... Will you shut up then? ... Intro: This, is my story, read the text, thank you.

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What if the rest of you value something wrong?

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I hate it when I go running and my diick always gets road rash from being dragged So I cut it off

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How do you suppress a black hole? Surround it with white holes

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Why did the black guy buy a jug of grape soda Because he was thirsty

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Why are Chinese people short? Chinese people are often exposed to harmful chemicals because of lax environmental laws, and suffer from poor nutrition.

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Q: What did the skeleton order when he walked into a bar? A: A beer and a mop.

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Why does Miley Cyrus make sex tapes It's the only acting job she can get

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A man walks into a psychiatrists office with a banana in his ear, The psychiatrist says, why do you have that banana in your ear. The man says, "What?" The psychiatrist says, "I said, 'Why do you have that banana in your ear?" The man says, "What?" The psychiatrist shouts, "I SAID, WHY DO YOU HAVE THAT BANANA IN YOUR EAR?" The man says, "Sorry, I can't hear you, I'm deaf." (props- Marty Smith)

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why cant women draw perfect circles? no one can becouse it is virtually impossible

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What's worse than a truck full of dead babies? Trying to sell a used truck with dead baby stains all over it.

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Q: Why did Grandma fall down the stairs? A: Because she had a brain hammerage

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Q: Why was the boy so sad? A: His parents were just killed in a car wreck, therefore orphaning him and his five brothers and sisters and leaving them with no money, food, or shelter due to lack of steady income and the fact that their house had been foreclosed on.

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Why does the same anti-jokes pop up over and over again? Because people have no creativity.

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How do Asians name their children? They throw them down the stairs and see what sound they make.

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A. Knock Knock B. There is noone home so the individual goes home

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An Irishman walks into a bar and orders a gin and tonic. The bartender gives him a sprite and charges him $12.

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I am aware that my positivity makes me do some bad mistakes, but if negativity is the alternative I will keep taking my chances.

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yes i can connor, this is brett.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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