What do you get if you cross a fairy cake with some boiled parsnips? Fladgemuffin

thumb_up thumb_down -3

roses are red, violets are blue, niggers are black and so is my poo

thumb_up thumb_down -3

Why did the man with seasonal allergies not take his medication? He had liver disease...read the fine print

thumb_up thumb_down -3

Q: Why did the kid drop his icecream cone? A: Because he couldn't hold it he lost his arms in a car accident.

thumb_up thumb_down -3

Barack Obama, Mother Teresa and Stephen Hawkings had race. Who won? Barack Obama. This deduction can be made as Stephen Hawking is severely disabled by a motor neurone disease known as amyotrophic lateral sclerosis. Henceforth, he has very limited control over the majority of his body and is confined to a electric wheel chair. Thus, he could not participate competitively in the race. Moreover, Mother Teresa is dead. This unfortunate occurrence was caused by several myocardial infarctions in combination with pneumonia. Regardless of this, Mother Teresa's meek and frail build would slower her speed considerably; in comparison to Barack Obama's relatively athletic and robust frame. Nonetheless, President Obama is a smoker. Therefore, he may experience symptoms associated with emphysema during the race, causing him to retire. As such no-one would finish the race, leaving the spectators feeling very disappointed and empty.

thumb_up thumb_down -3

Why did the chicken cross the road? Because it was a stupid chicken wandering around.

thumb_up thumb_down -3

How is a fat girl like a tiny motorcycle? She isn't, and you should be ashamed of yourself for even thinking how she might be.

thumb_up thumb_down -3

What do you get when you cross a stream with a prostitute? A wet hooker.

thumb_up thumb_down -3

What did the politician say to the bank robber? "Were both robbers"

thumb_up thumb_down -3

A black man accidentally walks into a white man. They apologize to each other and carry on with the rest of their day.

thumb_up thumb_down -3

Q: Why did Hitler Kill himself? A: Because his wife couldn't match the pleasure of his massive Nazi Orgies

thumb_up thumb_down -3

What did the oncologist say to his patient? You have terminal cancer.

thumb_up thumb_down -3

Whats the difference between a pile of dead babies on fire and a pile of living babies on fire? The dead babies are usually not as loud.

thumb_up thumb_down -3

Knock knock. Who's there? It's the police, mam. We need to speak to you about your son Robert. It's the police, mam. We need to speak to you about your son Robert who? Mam, he was in an accident. Could you open the door please?

thumb_up thumb_down -3

What makes Stephen Hawking such a lame scientist??? A: He has a debilitating disease, it's called ALS.

thumb_up thumb_down -3

what did the black guy get from churches chicken? fried chicken.

thumb_up thumb_down -3

if ruddel jumped on your back what do you do leave him on or pull him offf? shoot him.

thumb_up thumb_down -3

whats black, dirty, and full of trash? A trash can

thumb_up thumb_down -3

ask me if im a boy are you a boy? none of your buisness.

thumb_up thumb_down -3

My dog got out of its cage So I found it and beat the shit out of my neighbors kid.

thumb_up thumb_down -3

Whats wrong with that Nothing

thumb_up thumb_down -3

Why did the 18 year old girl take her clothes off? To take a shower

thumb_up thumb_down -3

Whats a lion in Antartica? . Dead

thumb_up thumb_down -3

What do you call 100 Americans at the bottom of the ocean? A US submarine crew.

thumb_up thumb_down -3

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops