don't read this

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Why can't Helen Keller drive? Because she's a woman

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How do you get a blonde out of a tree? Shoot her in the head.

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How do you make a baby float? Two scopes of Ice cream and two scopes of baby.....and the holocaust.

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Q. How do you blindfold a Chinese man? A. With a blindfold.

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Why was the old lady sad? Her husband was raped by an angry gallon of milk.

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What is human, went bankrupt eight times, got a small loan of a million dollars, and is over all a terrible person? Your probably thinking Donald Trump Well your correct.

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Why does a Jew, a catholic, and a buddhist eat pizza? because they like the way it tastes.

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what's the difference between a blue fridge falling off a cliff and a yellow one? the yellow one isn't falling of a cliff.

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One man was interested in purchasing poultry. He found it was as very wise investment in that he enjoyed the resulting pleasure immensely.

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What do you get when you mix Lil Wayne and Lil John? A full size John Wayne

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Roses are red, violets are blue, grass is green, sky is blue, dirt is brown, fire is orange, water is transparent, powder is white

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There are 2 muffins sitting in an oven. One muffin says "Damn, it's getting hot in here." The other muffing replies "Holy Shit! A Talking Muffin!"

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Why did spock look in the toilet he was concerned with his poop

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What do you call a black person flying a plane? A pilot

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Two homosexuals walk into a bedroom, and begin to have sex.

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Knock Knock Who's there Me Me who ME LET ME IN

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What did a policeman say to his belly? Nothing. Because he knows his belly is incapable of speech.

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What does a homeless man get for his birthday? 25 cents

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Yo momma is so old that she will be moved to a nursing home next week.

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Why can't Helen Keller drive a car? Because she's dead.

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69!!! (its funny cause i made a referance to 69)

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the holocaust

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Are you going to just stand there and watch me burn for i am on fire? Well that is fine because the sensation feels so fantastic. You are going to just stand there and listen to me whine the night away. It is quite okie-dokie for I really love your art of lying! To be certain, I love it very much! I can not find myself telling you what really occurred, I can only explain to you the sensation i felt from this moment. For I have a dagger in my trachea. For the number of days where the do not's fell like the actually do's. I will be very happy :). But where are you trying to walk away from. Than she told me she was leaving. I said no you very certainly are not! Megan Lady-who-sleeps-with-many-men (aka Whore) Fox. We find ourselves back on the day we met...... etc etc, lot's of pissed off Rapper vs. the English language. Than more words fly out of the mouth of the woman that said she "just wanted a hit" than got slapped around the ear by her ex. It is a pointless song. Today's youth is hopeless. (just kidding i love Eminem stay infinite for life)

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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