A man finds a magic lamp and rubs it. A genie appears and says that he will grant him 3 wishes. The man says "I wish for a duck". POOF! He got a duck. Then he says "I wish for a penguin". POOF! A penguin magically appears. He thought long and hard for his 3rd wish. Then he said "I wish I had a turtle" POOF! Suddenly out of nowhere the genie disappears. The man looked inside the magic lamp and saw a small turtle. The end.

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What do you call a big group of Chinese people on Mars? An extraordinary feat for the Chinese space program and a historic day in human history, where a particular country has set up the first human colony on another planet and we have proven to ourselves that our race is capable of interplanetary travel and can accomplish anything if we set our minds to it.

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Why did the girl buy the watermelon? To eat it.

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how do you wake up lady gaga? you set her alarm for the intended time

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daughter: Mum why do I have a brother mum: He not your real brother dont worry your adopted :) daughter: :'(

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What do you call a spaceman on Mars? Confused, because with the current technology it is impossible to send a human into space and onto Mars.

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A man walks into a bar He orders a beer, drinks the beer, then leaves.

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what sucks blows and gets laid in the closet. YOUR MOM VACUMING

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because he f**king felt like it!

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Why did Hitler commit suicide? Because he was completely depressed and overwhelmed because of the fact that he had lost World War II.

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What's a fry cook's favorite day? Saturday. It's his day off.

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Why didn't the black man understand an anti-joke? Because like any other member of the human race, he expected a typical joke structure to occur, starting with a misleading introduction which then using surrealism or misguidance trails into a humorous punchline.

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Shaun Sutton Call me: 1-800-tryhard ;)

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what's black and has a huge sac? A negro

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Heil Hitler!!!!!! Why thankyou General Himmler. Would you care to join me for supper this evening?

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What's worse than getting arrested? getting arrested on your birthday.

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why do the jewish guy and italian girl talk? i dont know why any decent minded italian would talk to a jew so i don't know.

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Wanna here a funny joke? Will is straight HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA hes gay

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Two Jewish men walk into a bar...just kidding it was a gas chamber.

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Why are there clocks on stoves? Because it is a convenient way to tell the time.

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What's red and sticky A DEAD BABY

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Q-What's funnier than 24? A-Most black jokes

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There were two penguin's sitting in a bathtub. The first penguin says to the second penguin, "Hey, pass the soap." And the second penguin says, "What do i look like, an alarm clock?"

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Knock Knock Who's there? Jehovah's Witnesses, can we have a moment of your time?

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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