A girl hears a noise in the middle of the night in her kitchen downstairs. She walks down halfway through the staircase and asks if anyone is there, as if the intruder will say, "Yes, I'm in the kitchen. Want me to make you a sandwich?" *This will never happen. Movies are stupid when it comes to these scenes. No one will actually ask if anybody is there if they hear a noise in the middle of the night.*

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Whats similar about an elephant and a plum? Theyre both gray, except for the plum

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What's yellow and shark infested? Shark infested banana pudding.

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a dog and a duck went out for a meal they both ordered lobster and enjoyed the night.

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Where can I apply for janitor school?

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Two ladies are walking down a road. One says, "It's freezing out here!" and then the other woman, who is a scientist, says "No it's not freezing. The freezing point of oxygen is -365.82 degrees F. So, unless it is actually that temperature outdoors, I highly doubt that it is freezing outside."

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Why did the the black man die? Because he had an incurable disease.

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Roses are red pineapple is yellow I'll shove your head up my ass so you can eat some marshmallows!

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How did the black kid apply for college? The Common App. Duhh

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What did the bird say when he was riding the turtle? Weeee...

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Praise Paisley

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A mailman walks into a bar He delivers a bill for the electricity and leaves.

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The boy wakes up and says "I'm feeling kind of fishy today." The dad come into the sea anemone and says that's because you are, Nemo.

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How do you get rich? Cut chunks off a fat person with a cleaver and sell them to china.

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Why can't Hellen Keller drive? Because she's a woman.

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What do you call a dead child? The product of a car crash

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Why was the man running? He needed to get somewhere fast.

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What do you call a Pokemon without a trainer? A wild pokemon.

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My mom says to me are you gay and i say are you gay (What did i just do)

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why did the blond have a broken nose? because she was brutaly beaten by five rapists when she refused to have sex with them.

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someone says they've been "dying laughing"... no they haven't; they're quite capable of still breathing and functioning in every day life.

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Black guy something something. Anti-racist punchline.

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Where did the kid go when the bomb exploded? Everywhere

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If I tell you that seeing you happy, is my main motivation towards accepting right now, would you believe me?

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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