I used to have a shirt just like yours, except it was green. And it was a bicycle.

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The NBA and womens sports

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Roses are stools, Violets are bums, sugar is knit, thank you, LSD.

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HEY YOU! TISSUE!

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Why can't Michael J. Fox draw a perfect circle? Because it is humanly impossible to draw a perfect circle.

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What does shit smell like? Your maaaa

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Roses are red Violets are blue I like pussy Because it feels really good when I stick my penis inside her vaginal opening

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Just admit it. one time in ur life u pretended that the floor was lava and the only way to survive was on the couch.

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Who did sally vote for in 1920 Nobody woman couldnt vote until 1928

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what did the grandma do after she was pushing up daisies? washed her hands because gardening is a dirty activity

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When life gives you Pure Filtered Water, Sweeteners (High Fructose Corn Syrup, Sugar), Lemon Juice from Concentrate, Less Than 0.5% of Each: Natural Flavors, Citric Acid (Provides Tartness), Modified Cornstarch, Glycerol Ester of Wood Rosin, Sodium Hexametaphosphate and Sodium Benzoate and Potassium Sorbate and Edta (to Protect Taste), Red 40 Make Lemonade.

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What did the homless man get for Christmas? Nothing

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hey, my names mark.

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A duck walks up to a lemonade stand and says to the man running the stand. QUACK!!!

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How do you punish Helen Keller? Send her to her room until she becomes civil enough to explain what was causing her misbehavior.

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How do you get a black guy to learn how to read? Find a stolen book and tell them that it's the recipe for the spices in fried chicken.

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Person 1: Why does food from Subway taste so good? Person 2: I don't know, why? Person 1: Because their ingredients are fresh. Person 2: Um, OK? Person 1: Yeah, it's all under 18. Person 2: Shit...

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Why did the monk shave his head? So he's more aerodynamic.

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01010010001010010100100101001001010010100100100100100100100100100100100100010010101010101010101011010101010110010101010 Dolphin

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Why would Bill Clinton like Jess so much? Cause he has a vagina, smells like shit, and has cankles.

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What starts with P and ends with O-R-N? Porn

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Ellen: Knock knock Steve: Who's there? Ellen: Banana Steve: Banana who? Ellen is offline and can't receive messages right now.

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Why didn't the little girl show up for school? Because she was dead.

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what happens when you piss on a dead monkey nothing you just lose the urge to pee O.o

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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