Why did the math student refuse to do his geometry homework? Straight lines do not exist, so there is no real world application to any geometric shape.

thumb_up thumb_down -13

whats worse than nailing 8 babies to 8 trees? nailing 1 baby to 8 trees.

thumb_up thumb_down -13

What did the man with no arms and no legs get for Christmas? Cancer

thumb_up thumb_down -13

Why did little Suzie spill her drink? Since birth she has lacked a jaw

thumb_up thumb_down -13

Stones cannot fly. Humans cannot fly either. Therefore.. I wish I didn't get AIDS...

thumb_up thumb_down -13

why did the man hit the flight attendant? Im just kidding he didnt.

thumb_up thumb_down -13

why did the boy fall off his bike? someone threw a fridge at him

thumb_up thumb_down -13

You: What gets wetter and wetter the more it dries? Person: A towel?! You: No, an aquaphilian woman drying off a car ;)

thumb_up thumb_down -13

Two muffins are in an oven. After a set period of time, they finish baking and are enjoyed by the family who had made them. Two weeks later the eldest daughter contracts syphilis thanks to numerous sexual partners. She soon dies leaving her parents and brother depressed. Her brother is kidnapped by a viscous child predator and the mother commits suicide. The father gets a job with the New York Yankees. He is eaten by a genetically modified zebra.

thumb_up thumb_down -13

your mom was so fat that she died.

thumb_up thumb_down -13

Two drums and a cymbal fall off a cliff. They all fall on a small boy below, putting him into a 20-year coma.

thumb_up thumb_down -13

whats black and has many friends? a kind sociable black person

thumb_up thumb_down -13

. HAHAHAHA I have control of you I don't enjoy that picture.

thumb_up thumb_down -13

What's the difference between Paris Hilton and a cow? Cows are ruminants, meaning that they have a digestive system that allows use of otherwise indigestible foods by regurgitating and rechewing them as "cud". Paris Hilton, on the other hand, is a human being. Therefore, her stomach digests the bolus (masticated food) only after it has exited the oesophagus into the body of the organ, where it is digested into chyme and then passed through the pyloric sphincter into the duodenum.

thumb_up thumb_down -13

What is invisible and smells like cheese? Cheese. I lied about the invisible part, because cheese is not invisible.

thumb_up thumb_down -13

Why couldn't the tractor start? The farmer lost the keys.

thumb_up thumb_down -13

2 drunk men walk out of a bar, they see a dog on the corner licking himself. One drunk says "man, I wish I could do that" The other drunk says "you might want to pet him first"

thumb_up thumb_down -13

How do you make a little boy cry? You rape his dog

thumb_up thumb_down -13

what did the indian boy say to his friend? I wish you were real

thumb_up thumb_down -13

Roses are red Violets are blue I've got revenge And you got big boobs. :3 Roses are blue Violets are red I'm bad poet Now i'm dead. O_O

thumb_up thumb_down -13

I love it when i go into my classroom first thing in the morning, and the light are off... i always feel so Empowered... i walk in, and say Let There Be Light! while i lift my arms up and there was light.... omg! im god! O_O

thumb_up thumb_down -13

What did Adam say when he saw Eve with just a fig leaf? The recipe said three frikkin figs.what the hell am I going to do with a fig leaf, you better get back in there, and hurry because I'm double parked. I was referring to Eastend married couple Adam and Eve Turner, in case there was any confusion.

thumb_up thumb_down -13

A woman is terminally ill in the hospital and her family is trying to decide what her last meal should be. Her older sister suggests tea and the idea is accepted enthusiastically. The other sister suggests making jasmin tea and the ill woman's son also suggests toast. The woman's husband looks down at the orange he had just peeled for his wife and looks up at the rest of them. moments later he shoots the three of them and then himself. All were found dead. http://www.dispatch.com/content/stories/local/2012/01/11/food-tiff-ends-in-deaths.html

thumb_up thumb_down -13

What happen when a plane crash? Everyone on it died...

thumb_up thumb_down -13

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops