Whats worst than finding half a worm in your apple? Getting rapped by a giant scorpian

What's the worst part about eating a vegetable? Putting her back in the wheel chair.

Knock Knock! Who's there? The mailman! The mailman who? *opens door* Just kidding, I'm actually an axe-murderer!

Why did the airplane crash? The pilot was a tomato!!

What's blue? The sky.

So I was walking along the beach one day and I see this whale. Then this dolphin named Lennie came up and was like, "Hey whale, how've you been? I haven't seen you in a while." And the whale was like, "Sorry, but I can't talk to you." And Lennie was like, "Whyever not?" And the whale said, "Because I'm not a starfish!"

What's the difference between a black man and a couch? One is a human being and one is a piece of furniture.

Martin Skrtel walks into a bar The bar breaks, Martin then pays for any damages caused

Why Did Suzie fall of the swing? She has Polio and will die the Next Day

Why am I sad right now? Because I just Sh*t my pants.

Three ladies were seen eating ice cream. One of them was licking the ice cream. Another was sucking the ice cream and the other was biting the ice cream. One of these ladies is currently married. Which one among them is the married lady? The one with a wedding ring on.

Why is the young Chinese boy crying? Because he is being raped.

What is pink and fuzzy? Pink fuzz

What did the man say to the other man? I would have no clue because I am deaf

What did Santa give little Susie for Christmas? Nothing, he raped her.

What did the farmer say when he lost his tractor? Wheres my tractor?

a group of teenagers are laughing at a boy around their age when on says "youre stupid" the boy then replies "i prefer the term Autistic"

What do you call a cow without legs? Disabled.

Whats worse than finding a worm in your apple? eating the worm causing it to breed inside of your body later causing them to eat you internally

Why did the black man almost go to jail? He rolled a 6 in monopoly, if it was a 7, he would've been sent straight to jail without passing "go"

my great great grandpa ryan the rattlesnake had a cat named dog-

What did Jesus say when he walked on water? I'm drowning

What's black and white and red all over? I don't know either.

Young Billy was arrested today for saying he was going to be a terrorist for Halloween.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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