What do a grape and an elephant have in common? They're both purple, except for the elephant.

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Roses are brown Violets are brown Everything's brown Who shit on my flowers

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What is not funny Bad jokes!????

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Where would Tupac be if he was white? Not the morgue

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A man invented a time machine that didn't work. Because he wasn't a scientist, he was an ice cream man.

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What's long, hard and full of semen? An erect penis prior to ejaculation.

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A friend? Just a friend that you told to stop pretending to be me? And you had no idea whatsoever that I am Nero as in not one of the six hundred thousand wabbabes?

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what did the black guy say to the white guy im black

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Friends are like potatoes - when you eat them they die.

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why did the chicken cross the road? well... to get to the other side.

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don't read this

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What did the Po-Po do to the speeding Mexican? Gave him a ticket.

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Why is a cat in the desert like Christmas? Because Egypt is a country of deserts, the Egyptians had cats and Jesus, Mary and Joseph escaped to Egypt in the Christmas story before Herod carried out his massacre in Bethlehem on baby boys of under two years old.

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I saw GESUS and SHE's BLACK

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what do you call a black guy african american

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what's the difference between a duck? You can't wash a window with a brick.

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What type of pants do Mario and Luigi wear? Levi or Denim, I'm not sure why but probably because you can get a nice fitting pair for only a couple of bucks.

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Why did the boy cry Because he fell

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What is your bill about? Clinton

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Alan: My Grandfather was in the SS and has a leather jacket made jews he killed. Me: Really? Alan: No, i'm korean. My grandfather wouldnt be allowed into the SS.

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Isn't a coincidence that the signing of the Declaration of Independence and the 4th of July are on the same day? Weird

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How many lollipops does it take to shingle a dog? Purple, because ice cream has no bones.

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Q: What would George Washington do if he were alive today? A: Scream and scratch at the top of his coffin.

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David Copperfield (the magician you moron). "I will now perform my greatest act yet!" Everyone applauded as he put the screaming woman (for effects you know) into the first end of the meatgrinder, and surprisingly grinded meat came out the other side! And the woman? She disappeared... forever! *applause* Moral: BRAVO! BRAVO!

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops