What's the difference between Jordan and Time? Time passes!!

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HALF LIFE 4 COMING OUT SOON!

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What did the cat say to the dog? Meow

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how do u get a bonar? u look at your mum!!

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A talent agency is giving auditions and is just about to rap it up when a family shows up. They reluctantly agree to their "brief" audition given that they had found no suitable talent that day. The routine starts with the father starting 6 chainsaws at once while simultaneously starting a juggling/lumberjacking routine. His beautiful wife proceeds to toss him additional chainsaws (as he continually throws them for dramatic effect) while also maintaining a hypnotizing dance which seems to drain your desire to leave from your very soul. The children take turns jumping in between the chainsaws while doing a silent replay of the movie, "Crouching Tiger, Hidden Dragon." After it plays out the father tosses the final chainsaw up in the air which lands standing straight, quivering in the dust of the studio. The studio manager says, "Why that's an AMAZING act!! I'll sign you right now! What do you call your act?" In response to which, the father shits on his desk.

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Roses are red Violets are blue Flesh is green When the dead start to rise you're on my team

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What did the ocean say to the other ocean? - nothing oceans are inanimate objects that are incapable of talking.

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What's the difference between a black male and a white female? There are many differences but all of which are wrong to make a joke about.

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What do a rubix cube and a penis have in common? The more you play with it the harder it gets.

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What do you say to a fat guy working out congrat him and tell him he's doing a great job and keep up the work

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What do dogs and whales have in common? They both live in the ocean. Apart from the dog.

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What do you call a boy with no arms or legs that gets stepped on a lot? Mat.

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im @ work, LOL.

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What did your Little brother get for Christmas? Lice.

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What is worse than the holocaust? A worm in your apple.

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What do you get when you cross a confused man and an anti-social woman? I don't know, go away.

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How do you kill a vampire? You can't because vampires aren't real.

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a disabled man takes a walk in a park

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Knock Knock Whos there? Your mom My mom died three years ago, please go away while i cry.

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Knock Knock! Who's there? The doctor. You have aids.

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Why did the teenage girl pee on a stick? She and her boyfriend had foolishly engaged in unprotected sex two weeks before, and she was now concerned that she may be pregnant.

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What do you call cheese that isn't your's Well it would depend on what type of cheese it actually is

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What do you call a man who only eats fast food? Unhealthy.

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Roses are red Violets are blue Im bad with colours Nice tits

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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