what did the white guy say to the black guy at the homeless shelter? Hi.

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What do you get when you cross an elephant with a giraffe? A really f*cked up hybrid.

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What burns like hell? Gonorrhea.

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What do a fish and a bird have in common? They both live under water. Apart from the bird.

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I was walking down the street then my hands were itchy so I stuck em in my pockets Jk, I'm a donkey. We don't have hands

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How do you say cabbage in Spanish? You don't.

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What did one traffic light say to the other? Nothing, as traffic lights are incapable of thought as they are not living.

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whats the difference between a dead dog and a dead black guy on the road? there is skid marks leading up to the dog.

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Why are all the tech support people from India? That's where the majority of call centers are located.

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A man walks into a bar and sits down. The bartender then lights him on fire.

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What goes in dry and comes out wet and sticky? Bubble Gum

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I hate it when I get an erection and it pushes Pluto out of orbit.

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What happens when you throw a midget off of a tall building? It dies and the people below get midget on them

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Laugh

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How did the weak old man with cancer beat it? He hung himself.

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A woman leaves the kitchen.

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Why did the women sleep in the kitchen. Due to the poverty levels of her area of residence, sub-sahara Africa, she, her 7 children and 3 orphaned nephews lived in one ram shackled room with a corrugated iron roof which served as a multi-purpose kitchen, bedroom, lounge and greeting area.

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What's slow and spotted? A cheetah, I lied about the slow part

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Terry was always struggling with mathematics. On his last report card he received a D- in math. His parents were naturally very upset with him because they knew their son could do much better and so did Terry. Terry wanted to make his parents proud so he buckled down and started studying on a regular basis. Terry realized his had work had payed off when his 3rd grade teacher handed him his report card. Terry had revived an A in math! On his walk home from school all he could think about was how proud his mom and dad were going to be. On that walk home Terry was savagely torn apart by an escaped lion from the local zoo. His head was never found.

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A wise man once said a journey of a thousand steps starts with one step. The wise man also smoked weed and starved to death in a cave.

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why did the boy die? because he got shot

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What's black and white and red all over and can't turn around in an elevator? A nun with a spear through her back

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How Many Blondes does it take to open a fridge. 1 Because most blondes are smart and can open fridges.

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A wife asks her husband to treat her like she's special. So he tells her, "Gooooooooooo... Maaaaaaaaaaaaake... Meeeeeeee.... Aaaaaa.... Saaaaaaaandwitch

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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