So a man walks into a bar carrying a giant clock. One of his friends asks, "Hey, whats up with the clock?" His friend then responds, "A goddamned genie gave it to me, i can't take it anymore. Here take his lamp." The man decided to rub the lamp and thinks to himself, "Gee, I'm gonna wish for 1 million dollars." The genie comes out and asks the man, "What wish could i grant you today?" The man says, "I wish i could have 1 million dollars!!" The genie replies, "As you please." All of a sudden, a studded dog collar appears. Then another, and another. Soon there were 1 million dog collars in the bar. The man yells, "WHAT IS THIS?!?! I DIDNT WISH FOR 1 MILLION COLLARS!!!" His friend then replies, "I didn't wish for a giant clock either...."

thumb_up thumb_down -14

"Have you got any Saturday jobs available?" "Yes"

thumb_up thumb_down -14

What's the deal with airline food... It has to be packaged and prepared in such a way large quantities of people can eat the meal with minimal preparation, which results in lower quality. If you don't like it, order a drink from the cart.

thumb_up thumb_down -14

What's the difference between a red ball and a blue ball? There both blue but the red one

thumb_up thumb_down -14

Fred and DooDah go to their favorite lake to fish. After getting out on the water, DooDah hooks a huge fish, which pulls him overboard, and he drowns. Fred is brokenhearted and goes to tell DooDah's wife the news. She opens the door and hears Fred sing: "Guess who drowned in the lake today? DooDah! DooDah!"

thumb_up thumb_down -14

Why did the chicken cross the road? The bold and unpredictable female bird escaped under the horror of the fearful fence of which enclosed the innocent chickens. As she wandered towards the nearby city of magic and dreams she approached by a large, empty road. A mysterious, shining object in the distant caught her eye. As she slowly to a shivering step towards the intereging sparkle, she was ran over by a car. EPIC FAIL LOL!!!!

thumb_up thumb_down -14

You know you're drunk when you've spend a significant amount of time consuming alcohol.

thumb_up thumb_down -14

What does 1 black person on the moon mean? A problem. What do 2 black people on the moon mean? A problem. What does every black person on the world on the moon mean? It's still a problem.

thumb_up thumb_down -14

What's beneath Chuck Norris's beard? A chin I presume, as that is what most humans have under their beards. Chuck Norris is a human and therefore is likely to have a chin. This is all based on the assumption that he is a human, because of the many characteristics he has shown that are humanlike.

thumb_up thumb_down -14

What do you call a man with no arms or legs? His name.

thumb_up thumb_down -14

Why was Stephanie sad? She dropped a washing machine on her toe

thumb_up thumb_down -14

Whats something really annoying? A guy who presses enter too much. hehe

thumb_up thumb_down -14

why did the the frog cross the road? because he was on the chickens back

thumb_up thumb_down -14

"Oren" Tifa is not around here, besides she does not like you anymore, get lost you wacko!

thumb_up thumb_down -14

Why are fish so easy to weigh? Because usually they've been killed, stunned or sedated first.

thumb_up thumb_down -14

why did the man get ran over by a turtle? he crossed the STREET

thumb_up thumb_down -14

What do you get when a white person and a black person make a baby? A possible high functioning member of society.

thumb_up thumb_down -14

Whats worse than one dead guy? 2 dead guys

thumb_up thumb_down -14

Alright so an elite group of Navy Seals walk into a mansion. They open fire on Osama Bin Laden and kill him.

thumb_up thumb_down -14

What did your mother say after I beat her? Nothing, because she was dead.

thumb_up thumb_down -14

Want to know a joke? There is no joke.

thumb_up thumb_down -14

Roses are red violets are green i can't rhyme bridge

thumb_up thumb_down -14

what happened at the end of the korean marley and me? dinner

thumb_up thumb_down -14

What can a goose do, a duck can't, and a lawyer should? Fly halfway across the world when the environment turns hostile.

thumb_up thumb_down -14

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops