What is three times more dangerous than war? Three Wars.

thumb_up thumb_down +11

Roses are red, violets are blue, I have alzheimer's, cheese on toast

thumb_up thumb_down +11

Yo mamma is so skinny, she has developed anorexia, a serious eating disorder, which not only affects her, but also the ones that she loves and cares about.

thumb_up thumb_down +11

You know what topping goes bad with ice cream? Chloroform

thumb_up thumb_down +11

Why did the fridge fall off its bike? Because someone threw a little girl at it.

thumb_up thumb_down +11

Why was the Black person afraid of the chainsaw? Be cause it goes run nigga nigga run nigga nigga run

thumb_up thumb_down +11

why was six afraid of seven? because seven threatened to kill him and his family.

thumb_up thumb_down +11

What did the potato say to the man It said nothing it is a potato

thumb_up thumb_down +11

Why did the chicken cross the road? It didn't, it got hit by a truck.

thumb_up thumb_down +11

How many surrealists does it take to screw in a lightbulb? -Fish

thumb_up thumb_down +11

What do you get when you cross a dog and a slice of tomato A really bad joke

thumb_up thumb_down +11

silly rabbit trix are for kids and jews

thumb_up thumb_down +11

What's clear and smells like alcohol? Probably alcohol, genius.

thumb_up thumb_down +11

Q: IMAGINE that your in a heart racing battle with a huge grizzly bear when suddenly a bird picks you up and carries you to china and leaves you on the adge of a cliff which then you are chased by warriors and are forced to jump off the edge. What do you do? A: Wake up

thumb_up thumb_down +11

Why did the chicken cross the road? Because chickens are unintelligent creatures of instinct, and can tell no significant differences between the pavement and the road. It was unfortunate that a bus was speeding past at the moment this event happened.

thumb_up thumb_down +11

Three men walked into a bar. None were injured because they were all wearing hard hats as is the procedure for a construction site.

thumb_up thumb_down +11

Why was Six afraid of Seven. Seven was in a horrible car accident recently and became very disfigured. He didn't tell Six, so the initial shock of seeing him for the first time was quite jarring for Six. Seven has had multiple surgeries since and, once the swelling recedes, he should look much better. It will still hurt for him to chew though.

thumb_up thumb_down +11

Wanna know how to confuse a black guy? Give him a fried chicken sandwich with mayo on it.

thumb_up thumb_down +11

Why does pavement get hot. Because it’s black. How could you tell she had bruises. Because they were black. Why did the boy drop out of school. Because he was dying of melanoma.

thumb_up thumb_down +11

pleas help someone is in my house i think hes trying to kill me i'm not even joking.

thumb_up thumb_down +11

was gonna write a really funny "anti-joke" about two dogs and some spagetti but decided instead to tell you about how hard my life is and how much i hate getting up in the morning and just keep you wondering about the spaggetti and the dogs while i kill myself and it all a sudden makes sense as the two dogs are eating my shattered brain that looks like spaggetti wich leaves me wondering , am i spelling spaggetti right?

thumb_up thumb_down +11

Roses are red, Violets are red, Grass is red, HOLY SHIT THE GARDEN'S ON FIRE

thumb_up thumb_down +11

A: Is this the Krusty Krab? B: No, this is Pizza Hut. Please stop prank calling us.

thumb_up thumb_down +11

Montague goes to the alcoholics meeting and says "Hello I'm Montague and I am an alcoholic" Evreyone points at him and chants "LOSER!, LOSER!, LOSER!, LOSER!" Montague is appaled, he expected to be welcomed with sympathy and respect. Then he realises his mistake. He has walked into meeting with a bottle of whisky and is wearing a Justin Beiber T Shirt

thumb_up thumb_down +11

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops