Hit me and kick me were on a log. Hit me fell off, swan to shore, and went home.

thumb_up thumb_down -5

Why did the old man miss the Alzheimer's Day walk? Because he died in his sleep.

thumb_up thumb_down -5

What do you call a book of notes? A notebook.

thumb_up thumb_down -5

BOB:john John:what? BOB:4:59 seconds to get rid of it

thumb_up thumb_down -5

roses are red so are the jews every one loved that holocaust news

thumb_up thumb_down -5

How do you have fun while stuck in traffic? Play bumper cars!

thumb_up thumb_down -5

what does matt daly like to do in his free time anal

thumb_up thumb_down -5

What's worse than rain on your wedding day? You scheduling your wedding to be held on an aircraft carrier on december 7th 1941.

thumb_up thumb_down -5

In 1284, while the town of Hamelin was suffering from a rat infestation, a man dressed in pied clothing appeared, claiming to be a rat-catcher. He loyally promised the townsmen a solution for their problem with the rats. The townsmen in appreciation and glad to get rid of the infestation promised to pay him for the removal of the rats, they were looking forward to being left in peace. The man pleased with their decision accepted, and played a mystical musical pipe to lure the rats with a joyous song into the Weser River, where all but one drowned. Despite his renowned success, the people reneged on their promise and refused to pay the rat-catcher the full amount of money. The man left the town angry and upset the people had betrayed his kindness, he did however vow to return some time later, seeking revenge. On Saint John and Paul's day while the inhabitants were happily sat in church, he played his pipe yet again, dressed in green, like a hunter, this time attracting the young and joyful children of Hamelin. One hundred and thirty boys and girls followed him out of the town, skipping in song as they went, where they were lured into a cave. The events that followed are now known as the 1284 mass child massacrer, in which all 130 children were raped and savagely tortured and killed one by one, each viscously taped and recorded for the pipe pipers satisfaction, where a copy of each tape was sent to their corresponding parents, this was before their bodies turned up dangling from a tree and the bottom of the village, all 130 of them unrecognisable from decomposition and mutilation the pipe piper had inflicted.

thumb_up thumb_down -5

Why was bobby late for school? Because he drove off a bridge.

thumb_up thumb_down -5

what do you call a woman who has sex for money? smart.

thumb_up thumb_down -5

Whats the answer to life? im not sure

thumb_up thumb_down -5

Two nuns are in a bathtub, one nun turns to the other and says "where's the soap". The other nun replies "it does, doesn't it".

thumb_up thumb_down -5

What was the strangest part about meeting a girl called Suzie? She had arms.

thumb_up thumb_down -5

What do black people and white people have in common? They are both mentioned in this box

thumb_up thumb_down -5

It is the conjoining of the two possible outcomes of the interstellar and post modern possibilities of the pasta pudding god's niece's favorite colour after she falls off her bike whilst riding down a yellow slide after her twenty-seventh birthday when the two suns form a triangle in the night sky over the delta. Yes indeed that was good pudding.

thumb_up thumb_down -5

Q: Whats blue and fluffy A: Blue fluff Q: Whats brown and fluffy . A: The bear that killed my parents.

thumb_up thumb_down -5

a white man, an asian man, and a mexican man are on a plane and they realize how inefficient the airline was in filling the flight, seeing as there were only three men on board.

thumb_up thumb_down -5

Y u do dis?

thumb_up thumb_down -5

sdfrgtyuki

thumb_up thumb_down -5

Two lifelong friends walk into the locl Bar and each order a Beer. " So how's life treating ya?" Phil replies, " Well Doug, I've got Stage Four Lung Cancer. I'm going to Die, remember?" Unfortunately, Doug doesn't remember because Doug has a Brain Tumor.

thumb_up thumb_down -5

Why was 6 afraid of 7? Because 7 was a convicted rapist.

thumb_up thumb_down -5

A man looks both ways before crossing the street. He gets hit by an airplane.

thumb_up thumb_down -5

roses are red violets are blue im in class i shouldnt be on this

thumb_up thumb_down -5

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops