Why did the guy go to the store? He really doesn't want you to know every detail of his life.

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What did the monkey say to the newlywed couple? Eiiiiijajajaajaja EIIIIJAAAA

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When life gives you lemons you mix them with vinegar to make a drink that will help your high blood pressure.

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hey i jut met u, and i have alzeihmer, cheese and toast

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Why did the lion get lost? Because the jungle is massive

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What did the blonde say to the brunette? We both have hair

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What do you call a duck who votes democrat? A duck

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What's the difference between a banana and a monkey? They're both yellow, except the monkey

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Why did the man have a hard time trying to open the door? The door was locked

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What starts with P and ends with ORN? POPCORN

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Q: A blonde, a red-head, and a brunette all jump off the bridge at the same time. Who hits the ground first? A: As stated by Sir Isaac Newton's third law of gravitation, all three fall to their deaths at the exact same time because the velocity of a falling object is unaffected by the mass of that object... or their hair colour. Idiot.

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why did susie fall off the dollar coaster? it only cost 50 cents susie is gone now

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What happened when the Asain woman got in her car? A speeding drunk driver hit her and now she is paralyzed from the neck down.. Its a tragic story

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Two tomatoes are crossing the road. Suddenly one of them gets hit by a car. He goes "AGH!"

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one man walked into a bar and ordered a beer. when he was drinking the beer he choked and died

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why doesnt bally lifeguard he isnt qualified

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Q:what happen to amy's baby A:it was eaten by a dingo.

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What do you get when you cross a dog and a chicken An animal cruelty charge

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Why could the red heading boy sing higher notes than the blonde headed boy? He was castrated at birth.

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What is the hottest day of the week? Wednesday

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Why was the boy's face red? He put his cat in a blender.

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whats the difference between and clorox wipe and a paper towel? a clorox wipe is wet.

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roses are red violets are blue a pyschorapist just ate me refrigerator

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A Jew, a Muslim, and a Christian walk into a bar... They then sit down and discuss the various political factors driving a wedge between unity, harmony and understanding between their religions. They resolve that despite the differences in religious belief, they truly can coexist, and decide to pursue peace among one another and the rest of society.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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