How do you kill a blonde? Push her off a cliff.

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Why did the chicken cross the road Cause he wanted to

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What do you call a black man doing his taxes? A well respected member of society

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What do you call a chicken with the head of a shark? A genetic anomaly.

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David Copperfield (the magician you moron). "I will now perform my greatest act yet!" Everyone applauded as he put the screaming woman (for effects you know) into the first end of the meatgrinder, and surprisingly grinded meat came out the other side! And the woman? She disappeared... forever! *applause* Moral: BRAVO! BRAVO!

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96

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What do you call a man with no legs, and one arm? Whatever his name happens to be.

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Whats a frogs favorite year? 2009!

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Knock knock. Who's there? FedEx. FedEx who? Just kidding, it's hookers.

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What did the baby say to the man? Babies can't talk ,the baby did not say anythingto the man!

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What do an Eagle and a sugar cube have in common? The fact that if let to disintegrate they both turn slowly to hydrogen after a period of time.

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What was the baker a coward? He didn't have the "Bunz" to prove it!

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What did the elephant say to the other elephant? We're both elephants!

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Why did Dave stop going to the laundromat? Because he was a suicide bomber.

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I went to the bookstore to buy me a Where's Waldo book. I looked through the store and couldn't find it anywhere.... Well played waldo, well played.

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Knock knock Whos there Bill O hey bill

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What do you call a man covered in bees? Nothing, you'll startle the bees!

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Why I am at the hospital now: True as it gets. I found on my working desk a small box of fluoride pills, I was like meh, but it said banana, strawberry, mint and pear, so I was like yeah! And grabbed a mouthful before going URGH! Then my friends entered laughing saying "I hope you do well on that test tomorrow!" So yeah, I passed out, and it turns out my "friends" (victims ill torture to they beg for death). 80 MG OF VALIUM!!! Yeah good trucking luck on my test eh? I nearly died twice, somehow, I think I should ask doc if my heart is okay or something, my head is fucked up the floor is all wavy and I cant differentiate numbers Seriously, one guy was gonna come visit say sorry, but he sent his girlfriend instead... My wife was so worried, that when I said: Mind if I have my vengeance by screwing his girlfriend? My wife said: I was so worried, you still okay? That actually sounds like a good scheme... So, yeah... I am typing this because, I am totally going to have a threesome... When and if my ever wakes up again... She agreed... She was always kinda into me but still! If you dont understand this, well... Next time, if you want to poison me, USE SOMETHING THAT KILLS ME! BECAUSE I WILL BE BACK!

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Why did the horse insult the postage stamp? He didn't. Horses can not speak English nor can anything verbally or physically critique a postage stamp and make it feel any emotional distress.

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man 1 walks by man 2 man 1 says hey buddy whats up man 2 responds do i know you man 1 says no but i saw you seeing a movie on friday man 2 says oh cool but wasn't that movie great man 1 responds ya and man 1 and man 2 become best friends plus man 1 only liked man 2 because he was rich!!!

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Whats brown and sticky A stick!!!!

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Teacher- What comes after 69 Boy- Mouthwash?? Teacher- LEAVE!

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What did the Jew say to the German? He said hello.

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Knock, Knock? Who's There? Not Suzie

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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