Why did the little boy drop his ice cream? Because he has has no arms.

A mother took her little boy to church. While in church the little boy said, "Mommy, I have to pee." The mother said to the little boy, "It's not appropriate to say the word 'pee' in church. So, from now on whenever you have to 'pee' just tell me that you have to 'whisper.'" Then the mother, realizing how her son could later become confused, clarified. She said, "You can say you have to pee as long as you say it in a quiet voice." The boy understood. There were no problems afterwards.

What do you call a dead baby who died by getting ran over by a car? Jimmy

I used to be an adventurer, but then I decided to retire.

Dead on Aodhan your breaking te ten commandments by lying you jew you dont believe in the divinity of Christ.

How do you confuse a blonde? Inform her that she is an illegitimate child resulting from a vicious, torturous rape and that her mother will never truly love her.

My mother has chlamydia. That's it.

Hey I just met you, and your f$#king crazy,I ate your pizza, so go get me another one!!

What Batman said to Robin before they got in the car? -Get in the car Robin!

What do Abraham Lincoln and George Washington have in common? They both had beards, except for Washington.

You know what likes to get fisted? Sock puppets.

A Duck walks into a bar.

What's black, smoking, and sitting at the top of the stairs? Steven Hawking after a house fire.

What did Helen Keller say to the priest? Nothing, she didn't know he was there.

What's big and red and if it falls out of a tree and can kill you - a fire truck

Who should you call when your dad overdoses on Viagra. Child Support

Q: Why did the white mother with a newborn baby lock her car doors? A: Because a black guy walked by.

why did the baby cross the road i tied it to the back of a car

What do you get when you mix a refrigerator with a microwave? A refrigerated microwave.

Why did the Mexican cross the border? He was hoping to achieve greater economic prosperity and well-being for his family. penis.

A girl cries as she drops a box of uncooked spaghetti noodles, spilling and breaking them onto the floor. She has brittle bone disease.

Why was Samantha crying? Because her hair got stuck in a fan.

An old man, and his daughter are walking down the street. They are having a nice time, until the daughter turns around to see the old man lying on the ground in pain because of the crippling arthritis in his back that has caused him agony and discomfort for years.

That awkwad moment when a homeless man runs naked around a golf cource yelling hears the 19th hole bitches.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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