What do you call a white man who murdered his whole family? -a murder What do you call a black man who raped five women? -a rapest What do you call a Mexican with a leaf blower -a hardworking legal immigrant working twelve hours seven days a week to support his wife and three children.

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What was the homeless guy doing on the side of the rode? Begging for money.

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Bare with me here, im gonna change this up a bit What's better then finding a worm in your apple

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? It was dead. Why did the second monkey fall out of the tree? It was stapled to the first monkey.

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Roses are Red, Violets are blue, Run Quick, Before I Rape you!!!

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If dogs hate cats and cats hate mice, than what do mice hate? Themselves.

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Why did the girl fall off the swing? Because she had no arms.

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Joke

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What rhymes with ten? Rape..... What rhymes with boat? Float.....

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What do you call two mexicans playing basketball? Friends

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Roses are red, violets are purple.

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Three men are stranded, mid-ocean, in a small rowboat. They realize quickly that their imminent demise is slowly creeping into the forefront of their consciousnesses. Just as all hope seem to be lost, one man noticed an island covered in luscious foliage about five hundred yards away. A problem reared it's head as it became apparent that an unrelenting riptide was dragging the boat further and further from the shore and, in turn, salvation. It became further apparent that the men would have to abandon their rickety rowboat and swim the rest of the way. The first man bravely jumps into the vast uncertainty of the ocean and attempts to swim to shore. He is met by a large shark that promptly severs his arm from his body. A bloody mess, he manages to touch down on the sandy beach. The second man, more reluctantly, also jumps in. He balanced his chances: "100% death in the boat vs. uncertainty in the ocean." Like the first man, the second man meets the shark's vicious bite. His leg is severed and he too drags himself, bloody, to the warm embrace of sand and freedom. The third man, sure that he would be bitten also, jumps into the ocean and swims to shore. Alas! The third man arrived on the island unscathed and completely fine. Perplexed, the first two men asked the third why the shark did not attack him. The third man simply smiled and replied..."what do you expect me for, a typewriter?"

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What does a cannibal do after dumping his girlfriend? Procedes with his long difficult hunt to find another companion who accepts him for what he is, without the fear of being eaten.

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Q.Why did the black man go to college? A. What does his race have to do with anything?

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Two construction workers are working on the final floor of what will soon be the worlds tallest building. The first turns to the other and says: "Hey tom can you throw me a three quarters hex wrench? i think my set is metric." the second guy turns around and says: "yea, here you go."

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What do you call a blonde surgeon? Not stereotypical

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Whats the difference between a lemon and an ant? They're both yellow except for the lemon.

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Three jews walked into a bar I lied, it was a gas chamber

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Homeless man....it's what's for dinner!

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What did Grandma give little Ben for Christmas? a wheelchair

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Why did 'Mister Love' get arrested? Clue: One of the most ironic things ever You can guess

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How do you stop your golf ball from hitting a goose? You dont.

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So, this joke isn't funny.

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GUESS WHAT ?????????? THATS WHAT CAOMHIN

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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