Knock Knock... Who's there? The FBI, you're going to jail. Really? No.

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Two gophers are in a tank One of them says how the heck do you drive this thing?

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Why did the first monkey fall out of the tree? Because he was dead. Why did the second monkey fall out of the tree? Because he was holding hands with the first. Why did the third monkey fall out of the tree? It saw a banana. Why did the fourth monkey fall out of the tree? It slipped. Why did the fifth monkey fall out of the tree? It thought this was all a game. Why did the sixth monkey commit suicide? All his friends were gone.

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Three men are stranded, mid-ocean, in a small rowboat. They realize quickly that their imminent demise is slowly creeping into the forefront of their consciousnesses. Just as all hope seem to be lost, one man noticed an island covered in luscious foliage about five hundred yards away. A problem reared it's head as it became apparent that an unrelenting riptide was dragging the boat further and further from the shore and, in turn, salvation. It became further apparent that the men would have to abandon their rickety rowboat and swim the rest of the way. The first man bravely jumps into the vast uncertainty of the ocean and attempts to swim to shore. He is met by a large shark that promptly severs his arm from his body. A bloody mess, he manages to touch down on the sandy beach. The second man, more reluctantly, also jumps in. He balanced his chances: "100% death in the boat vs. uncertainty in the ocean." Like the first man, the second man meets the shark's vicious bite. His leg is severed and he too drags himself, bloody, to the warm embrace of sand and freedom. The third man, sure that he would be bitten also, jumps into the ocean and swims to shore. Alas! The third man arrived on the island unscathed and completely fine. Perplexed, the first two men asked the third why the shark did not attack him. The third man simply smiled and replied..."what do you expect me for, a typewriter?"

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What's worse than being annal raped by a black man? Well lots of things are but being raped by a guy who has around a 7 inch penis may be hurtful I'm sure being cut open and eaten alive may be worse;)

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What did the woman say just before she was stabbed eleven times in the chest thus killing her? Nothing, she had been gagged.

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He is outside, running for it, Erron, seriously who is We? I thought you where an author.

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Q: What's the difference between a Boyscout and a Jew? A: Boyscouts come home from camp.

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Q:So there's a black guy and a mexican sitting in a car...who's driving? A: The Cop

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yo momma is so stupid, she probably in in the bottom 1% of her age group

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On Friday the 13th,My cat turned into a dog.

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Whats sorer than stubbing your toe? Stubbing your toe twice

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A husband said to his wife, "If you want to have sex, stroke my penis one time. If you don't want to have sex, just say so and I will respect your decision, though I may be disappointed."

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Whats 89 x 67? Sponge. Whats 10 + 9? 19 Whats 9 + 10? 21!

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Q How do you know when a gay walks into a bar A Albert rushes over and starts feeling him up

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My momma's so ugly she had to get plastic surgery. Now I need it.

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Q: why did the prisoner drop his soap? A: easy sex

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What do Mitt Romney and Barak Obama have in common? Nothing that is why they are running against each other for US President.

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Whats black and runs really fast? Usain Bolt

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Why didn't Sally go to the party? Because everybody hates her and she wasn't invited.

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If the blue dog falls out of sample object, how many bananas does my mom eat? No, because markers can't talk

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Roses are black Violets are black A black person died

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Roses are red, violets are blue, why am i even talking to you?

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im trying to thing of a good joke...oh wait i got one but only one... ok ready?...oh wait...i forgot it again

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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