Why did jimmy fall off the swing? He had no arms or legs Knock knock Who's there? Not jimmy

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did you hear about the guy who got his left leg and left arm cut off? he's all right now

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How do you drown a blond girl? Forcibly hold her head under water until it enters the lungs and prevents the absorption of oxygen leading to cerebral hypoxia and myocardial infarction.

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I am aware that my positivity makes me do some bad mistakes, but if negativity is the alternative I will keep taking my chances.

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Isn't a coincidence that the signing of the Declaration of Independence and the 4th of July are on the same day? Weird

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His face was drawn, but the curtains were real.

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whats wooden and hard a wooden floor

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yo mumma is so smelly i can distictly smell her more than her perfume

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PSP its a nut you can play... Outside...

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A Muslim man walks away from a populated area leaving his briefcase behind. After a few minutes he returns because he forgot his briefcase.

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You might be a redneck if you hate your father and you live in a trailer

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what do you call a door made of steel? a steel door

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what did the man say when he walked into the bar? Ouch!

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What happened to him after he died? He got buried.

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What do you call a bitchy unreliable friend? You don't call that bitch at all.

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The day the forces of light fight the forces of darkness, we will all live in darkness no matter who wins. Pure darkness will not allow you to see. Pure light will blind you.

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Have you seen the newest starwars? What movie? I mean that episode where stars fight... Will Smith vs Keanu Reeves? I am talking about the stars in the sky firing at each other! You know, those star pilots on planes... Flown by Will Smith and Keanu Reeves? BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOM! (You heard that one in your head)

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Why did the lemon eat salt? I DON'T KNOW!!

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What did the chicken say after crossing the road? Nothing.It's a f*cking chicken.

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Roses are red violets are green i can't rhyme bridge

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I took your mother out for a classy steak dinner. I decided not to call her agian because we weren't very compatible and the conversation was very superficial.

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J- Jiggly E- Enormous S- Sad S- Smelly E- Ethiopian

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What is more boring than watching paint dry? Aids

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What squirts out of your butt and runs down your leg? Bloody diarrhea.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops