Why did the tornado cross the road? Cuz it's a tornado. Don't question it. Run.

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A car walks into a bar.

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A momma tomato and a baby tomato are walking down the street, and the baby tomato starts to fall behind. The mother turns to it and says "hurry up."

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What did the African get for dinner? Ebola Rice

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-my friend Cassie is coming over - oh is she cute? -yea but she's not my type -oh that's understandable then

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what do you call it when justin beiber makes a sex tape with selina gomez? lesbian porn.

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I admit I don't know what the future holds, but one thing I know for sure is that... Lance Armstrong has only one ball.

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What does a black man do in the bathroom? He Dookies on bobby

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A burglar broke into a house one night. He picked up a CD player to place in his sack and a strange, disembodied voice echoed from the dark, saying, "Jesus is watching you." He nearly jumped out of his skin, clicked his flashlight off, and froze. When he heard nothing more, he shook his head, clicked the light on, and began searching for more valuables. Just as he pulled the stereo out so he could disconnect the wires, he heard, "Jesus is watching you." Freaked out, he shined his light around frantically, looking for the source of the voice. Finally, in the corner of the room, his flashlight beam came to rest on a parrot. "Did you say that?" he hissed at the parrot "Yep," the parrot confessed, then squawked, "I'm just trying to warn you." The burglar relaxed. "Warn me, huh? Who in the world are you?" "Moses," replied the bird. "Moses?" the burglar laughed. "What kind of people would name a bird Moses?" "Devout Semites," the parrot replied.

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How many 3 legged black Irish catholic obstetricians, walking into a bar, does it take to make a chicken cross the road? Fish!

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, I have AIDS, now so do you.

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A horse walks into a bar. the bartender asks, "Why the long face?" The horse does not reply because it is a horse. The horse walks out of the bar kicking over some chairs and scaring some people because he is a horse and horses do not belong in public atmospheres.

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Three jews walked into a bar I lied, it was a gas chamber

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How do you keep an idiot busy? Give him something to do.

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My girlfriend gave me her first ever blowjob last night. I came in her mouth and she washed it down with a can of Carling. Obviously she had to get that horrible taste out of her mouth, so she gave me another blowjob.

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What do you call a person that is green, wearing plaid, and standing next to you in the elevator? What ever their name is

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Chicken is a funny word, and the road is a plot device.

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So Joe Paterno doesn't walk into a police station....

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Why did the plane crash? A loaf of bread was the pilot

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What did the farmer say when he lost his tractor? "I have a gambling problem."

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What looks like donuts but stinks of shit. Sean Big Macs socks

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Q-"what did the carrot say to the plant" A-"nothing because neither one of these objects can talk"

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Why'd Sally fall off the swing? Because she had no arms. Knock! Knock! Who's there? Not Sally.

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What's the difference between my father and my mother. My father isn't an alcoholic

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops