What do a carrot and a kangaroo have in common? Nothing...

thumb_up thumb_down +34

Liar liar, your dead nans carcass is on fire.

thumb_up thumb_down +32

Where did Officer Blackman find the missing child? A shallow grave.

thumb_up thumb_down +32

Why did Jake fall off his bike? His mom threw a fridge at him.

thumb_up thumb_down +32

Q: What is the proper name for a female dog? A: Well there could be several names it could be a name on the collar in which case please look for the number so it can be returned to its owner. Another possibility is that it is a stray which you should either run for it could have a disease and you should just forget about the name then or take it in as your own and name it.

thumb_up thumb_down +32

yo mamma's so fat she's fat!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

thumb_up thumb_down +30

What did the Mexican say to the Pirate? Hi, Steve!

thumb_up thumb_down +30

Ask me if I'm a tree I don't need to, because I know you're not a tree

thumb_up thumb_down +30

3 Blondes walk into a bar. One ducks, the other two are hospitalized with mild concussions

thumb_up thumb_down +30

An alcoholic is someone you don't like who drinks as much as you do.

thumb_up thumb_down +30

Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because it was dead. Why did the chipmunk fall out of the tree? Because it was stapled to the monkey.

thumb_up thumb_down +30

What's long, brown, and in the toilet? The chocolate bar I just threw in the toilet.

thumb_up thumb_down +30

Raveena Thandhan

thumb_up thumb_down +30

A little boy running with scissors he trips and falls and dies

thumb_up thumb_down +30

What's red and bad for your teeth? A Brick

thumb_up thumb_down +28

Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because it was dead. Why did the chicken fall out of the tree? Because it was stapled to the monkey.

thumb_up thumb_down +28

If I had a penny for every time I said the word "the" I would have AIDS

thumb_up thumb_down +28

Roses are red, Violets are blue, You were adopted and I couldn't think of a good way to tell you...

thumb_up thumb_down +28

A horse walks into a bar. bar tender: "Why the long face" *bu dum tss" horse: "My wife died of terminal cancer."

thumb_up thumb_down +28

What's better than having sex ? Having sex and being rich.

thumb_up thumb_down +28

If Chuck Norris were to roundhouse you. Then something previously happened before the altercation, that caused tension.

thumb_up thumb_down +28

One day a object is flying overhead in a city and a man in a crowd of pedestrians yells, "It's a bird!" another man yells, "It's a plane!" No one else says anything as they stare at the two men that had become so excited about a possibly seeing a bird or an airplane.

thumb_up thumb_down +26

Roses are red Violets are blue You're daughter has terminal cancer.

thumb_up thumb_down +26

What do you get when you cross a surfer and a black man? An angry surfer and an angry black man. You really should be nicer to people.

thumb_up thumb_down +26

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops