Why is the fat man fat? Because he has an extremly bad metabolism which makes him gain two pounds from eating one cheeseburger

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What did the man say when his wife said hello? Hello.

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Knock knock. Who's there? Justin. Hello Justin, please come in.

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Row, row, row your... Canoe.

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You: Hey, I have a good knock knock joke, here, you start! -and if all goes well...- Them: Knock knock! You:Who's there? Them: Uhh...

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Why can't Jeff drive a car? because he is a rock.

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Two cows in a field one says Moo the other says, Moo

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yo mamma so fat that when she goes out in high heels she comes back in flip flops

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Why couldnt the black guy swim? He couldn't swim because he had no parental figures growing up. His dad was part of a gang and his mom was a crack addict. He had noone to teach him how to swim.

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What did the chicken say to the black guy? Nothing, humans and chickens can not communicate.

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what is the difference between a indian and a trampoline? you take you shoes off to jump on the trampoline.

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A duck walks into a bar, guess what the bartender does............ GIVES HIM A SEAT AND 6 FREE SHOTS! But instead of that the bartender promptly escort the duck out considering the fact that in all bars there is a no animal and/or pet policy so the duck went... and commitid a series of loud noises before he got to a hotel and hung itself, that is what any depressed hungover duck would do.

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What did the brick say to the wall? Nothing, as they are both inanimate objects that lack knowledge and the sense to speak.

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Man: Doctor, everything I touch hurts. Doctor: Okay. Let's test it out by first touching your leg. Man: It hurts. Doctor: What about your arm? Man: It hurts as much. Doctor: What about your back? Man: It still hurts. Doctor: I see......your fingers are broken.

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If Oscar Meyer had a dog what kind of dog would it be? A Wiener Dog!!

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You know, people are kind of like trees, they tend to fall over when you hit them multiple times with an axe.

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did you know helen keller had a dog? neither did she....

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A man walks into a bar. He's black. Its 1962. He is immediately arrested.

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Patient: "So what seems to be the problem doc? Doctor: "I'm afraid you have AIDS. I'm sorry."

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Q: How do you break into your own house? A:You don't....thats ridiculous(:

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Q: Why did the chicken cross the road? A: He was wandering because he was lost and got hit by a car in the process.

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As they went down the hill Jack tripped on a rock, falling breaking many bones including his neck. In all the hysteria, Jill fell too, however she landed on a rock and now has severe dementia. This was all for a pail of water.

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why was the woman afraid of her bestfriend he raped her

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Why did the plane crash? Because the pilot was a piece of toast.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops