'Doctor, doctor, I think I'm a pair of curtains' Doctor prescribes antipsychotics.

I would have buttered my bread, but the pool was cold.

Why was the man wearing all white? He was a part of the Ku Klux Kan.

Kitana vs Shao Kahn. Kitana: HIAHIAHIAHIA...etc Kahn: You weak pathetic whor... OARGH! Kahn: FINISH ME!!! Kitana: Dad? Again? Okay the last time then... Kahn: I just addopted you you FUC... Oargh Oargh Oargh Oargh Oargh... OOF!! OFF!! OFF!! OFF! Kitana: *slurp okay no more for you I am uh... full, seriously, Ill explode or some other Fatality... Woody Allenality... Kahn: Kontinue? (press start to kontinue free play mode)

Knock Knock Who's there? Me ill kill u,

Q: Where do zombies shop? A: Zombercrombie.

What is pink and stuffy? Pink stuff

What is the differnce between a baby and a watermelon??? One is fun to smash and one is a watermelon

What's black and always in the back of a cop car? The seat.

Why'd the chicken cross the road? After losing its family, the chicken had became an adrenaline junkie and enjoyed the rush of doing such dangerous things. It subsequently became addicted to opium.

What do you call a guitar with only one string? A guitar.

why did the boy get hit by a bus because he had ice cream.

roses are red violets are blue i killed your family

What do you call Helena… A Shady palm tree

What did little Susie give to young Billy on Christmas? Genital Herpes.

A man walks into the doctor's office for an appointment. The doctor performs the usual examinations, before asking the man to turn his head and cough. As is standard, he feels the man's genitals to check for irregularities. The man jokes, "Say doc, couldn't you at least ask me to dinner first?" The doctor replies, "You have testicular cancer." He died a month later.

How many apes does it take to put in a light bulb 3

How do the Kardashians change a light bulb? They buy a new mansion

Q. What's The Best Thing About Having Sex With Twenty Three Year Old's? A. There are 20 of them...

How many blondes does it take to screw in a lightbulb? One.

How do you stop a lawn mower? You throw a baby under it.

What do you callan african american in KFC? A had working american with a average profit, trying to make a living.

Haiku's are easy But sometimes they don't make sense Refrigerator

Why did Jimmy fall of his tractor? Because Jimmy doesn't have any arms or legs...Why doesn't Jimmy have any arms and legs? Cause Jimmy is a potato.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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