roses are red unless they are the pink ones oh yeah they're also pretty expensive

thumb_up thumb_down +5

Sodium Sodium Sodium Sodium Sodium Sodium Sodium Sodium Sodium Sodium Sodium Sodium Sodium Sodium Sodium Sodium Sodium Sodium BATMAN! Oh cemetery jokes

thumb_up thumb_down +5

A homeless guy gets done with his daily work. where does he go? nowhere he is homeless...

thumb_up thumb_down +5

What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? Dying unloved.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

Q: What's Funnier than a baby spinning around a pole at 300 MPH? A: Stopping it with a shovel.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

a horse walkes into a bar... never mind that's just Sarah Jessica Parker

thumb_up thumb_down +5

monkeys that understand what people say dont understand what people say because they understand CC

thumb_up thumb_down +5

Bradley is Sexi;P just kidding!!! fatty

thumb_up thumb_down +5

Roses are red, Violets are blue, i am in sex mode, why the F**k are you!!

thumb_up thumb_down +5

What's 50 feet tall, wears glasses and plays dungeons and dragons. A nerd, I lied about the 50 feet part.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

What is holocaust victim's favorite food? Hamburgers.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

Why was the baby's face red? Because it was bloody.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

One dark, stormy night, there was a man, limping slowly down the road. He looked across the road and noticed a little girl on a park bench. He carefully moved around behind , creeped up, and slowly tapped her on the shoulder. I tap 2 tap 3 tap The little girl slowly turned her head, and as she did, the man uttered 3 sentences.... "Would you mind helping me get back to my apartment, my hand was cut off in the war, while I was serving my country, which is why I have a hook as opposed to a hand. I was heading back to my apartment to greet my wife and 2 little children, since I just got back from a long day's work at the soup kitchen, helping those in need, and I sprained my ankle. By the way, my name I John Thompson."

thumb_up thumb_down +5

Did you hear the one about the man who went into the jungle wearing nothing but leopard print underwear? He was suffering from psychogenic fugue disorder and had no idea who or where he was. He was eventually eaten alive by a flesh-eating centipede. When his wife found out, she committed suicide.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

Why are Pine trees green? Because light reflects at different wavelengths, and the chlorophyll, found in chloroplasts, being abundant in the needles of pine trees, Reflect the correct wavelength for green.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

whats worse than finding a worm in apple? being chased by retards

thumb_up thumb_down +5

Three guys went barhopping. One slipped and broke his dick.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

You know what sucks? A vacuum.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

Women's rights.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

There was a dog walking down the street with his GF. The dog can have a GF and can talk because this is an anti joke. Then the dog broke up with his GF because he was unhappy with her scent. Dogs are weird that way. Then, sobbing, he saw something through the blur of his tears. The county fair was open! Elated, the dog ran to the fair and waited n the ticket line for a long time. He waited so long, he almost exploded. Once he got to the end, he reached in his coat pocket (yeah, the dog is wearing a coat. It's cold), and found no wallet. FUUUUUUU! By the time he got back, the fair was closed for the day. The next time he came back, he had a hard time getting through the line. When he did, he raced to the ferris wheel. Halfway up, the ferris wheel stopped. CWAP! The neckst daey, thee dwawg whent two the ferries weele and went up. Yay. At the top, he saw his house! there was a chicken crossing the road. WTF? Why did the chicken cross the road? to get to the other side. Phuck yeah.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

whats the stage after cancer? you die

thumb_up thumb_down +5

What happens when you hit a black guy with your car? He is seriously injured.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

The Big Band Theory

thumb_up thumb_down +5

how do you make abus driver cry? you rip his limbs off.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops