I'd feel bad for some skinny guy who lived in a very obese family and only got hand me downs.

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"Knock knock." "Who's there?" "Plumber, ma'am." "Thank God you're here. I haven't been able to take a shower in three days."

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a blonde walks in to a bar, the bar tender gives him a free drink because he's a man and it's nazi germany

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Q: What's black, long, and floppy? A: Black Licorice

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Why was the anti-joke poster offended by all of the thumbs down? Because he didn't understand the concept of an anti-joke and instead submitted a childish, racist, incoherent lame 'joke'. This filled him with angst because he is uneducated and doesn't respond well to criticism.

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J- Jiggly E- Enormous S- Sad S- Smelly E- Ethiopian

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Why did the boy go back in time? He didn't. He was mutilated by rabid apes.

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Wath black poeple eat for christmas your food.

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Q: What did one Christmas ornament say to the other? A: I didn't know they could talk. Get me that ornament so I can chat with him!

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And riiight after you... Hey its always ladies first.

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I wonder what mute people say to themselves. :/

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McDonald. It's run by Lawers

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Why did the chicken cross the road? He had no conscience and therefore was not able to backup the very reason that he crossed the road.

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There is two guys named tard and retard on a boat in shallow water. they both fall off. Who gets back up onto the boat? - Obviously Tard because ur dealing with a retard here.

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What happened to the man who had the most loving parents and family when he was born, had an amazing childhood which he shared with so many good friends, was loved everywhere, helped the poor, started a fundraiser for starving kids in africa, got a college education, helped a complete stranger get off his drug addiction, married a beautiful woman, bought a nice house and had 3 children who he loved dearly and spent time with as much as he possibly could, tucked them in every night and enjoyed every second of his life as if it was his last? He died.

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Well, its Eliza again, sorry to bother you Nero, I always thought you where good looking but I know that when it comes to you its not about the looks, you are far more than meets the eye. Neo-Nero was the guy we met at a certain meeting, the arrogant guy with the big forehead whose arms where shaking remember? I wont reveal more for his sake, he did not mean bad, he was just angry like the rest of us and felt responsible, again like many of us. So when can we meet you? I assume you wont be arriving soon, but Id really apreciate seeing you again, and considering neither I nor my parents (I asked them) have the money to come visit you, id appreciate a loan or something.

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HATE MAD I LOVE ADVENTURE TIME I HATE MAD I LOVE ADVENTURE TIME I HATE MAD I LOVE ADVENTURE TIME I HATE MAD I LOVE ADVENTURE TIME I HATE MAD I LOVE ADVENTURE TIME I HATE MAD I LOVE ADVENTURE TIME I HATE MAD I LOVE ADVENTURE TIME I HATE MAD I LOVE ADVENTURE TIME I HATE MAD I LOVE ADVENTURE TIME I HATE MAD I LOVE ADVENTURE TIME I HATE MAD I LOVE ADVENTURE TIME I HATE MAD I LOVE ADVENTURE TIME I HATE MAD I LOVE ADVENTURE TIME I HATE MAD I LOVE ADVENTURE TIME I HATE MAD I LOVE ADVENTURE TIME I HATE MAD I LOVE ADVENTURE TIME I HATE MAD I LOVE ADVENTURE TIME I HATE MAD I LOVE ADVENTURE TIME I HATE MAD I LOVE ADVENTURE TIME I HATE MAD I LOVE ADVENTURE TIME I HATE MAD I LOVE ADVENTURE TIME I HATE MAD I LOVE ADVENTURE TIME I HATE MAD I LOVE ADVENTURE TIME I HATE MAD I LOVE ADVENTURE TIME I HATE MAD I LOVE ADVENTURE TIME I HATE MAD I LOVE ADVENTURE TIME I HATE MAD I LOVE ADVENTURE TIME I HATE MAD I LOVE ADVENTURE TIME I HATE MAD I LOVE ADVENTURE TIME I HATE MAD I LOVE ADVENTURE TIME I HATE MAD I LOVE ADVENTURE TIME I HATE MAD I LOVE ADVENTURE TIME I HATE MAD I LOVE ADVENTURE TIME I HATE MAD I LOVE ADVENTURE TIME I HATE MAD I LOVE ADVENTURE TIME I HATE MAD I LOVE ADVENTURE TIME I HATE MAD I LOVE ADVENTURE TIME I HATE MAD I LOVE ADVENTURE TIME I HATE MAD I LOVE ADVENTURE TIME I HATE MAD I LOVE ADVENTURE TIME I HATE MAD I LOVE ADVENTURE TIME I HATE MAD I LOVE ADVENTURE TIME I HATE MAD I LOVE ADVENTURE TIME I HATE MAD I LOVE ADVENTURE TIME I HATE MAD I LOVE ADVENTURE TIME I HATE MAD I LOVE ADVENTURE TIME I HATE MAD I LOVE ADVENTURE TIME I HATE MAD I LOVE ADVENTURE TIME I HATE MAD I LOVE ADVENTURE TIME I HATE MAD I LOVE ADVENTURE TIME I HATE MAD I LOVE ADVENTURE TIME I HATE MAD I LOVE ADVENTURE TIME I HATE MAD I LOVE ADVENTURE TIME I HATE MAD I LOVE ADVENTURE TIME I HATE MAD I LOVE ADVENTURE TIME I HATE MAD I LOVE ADVENTURE TIME I HATE MAD I LOVE ADVENTURE TIME I HATE MAD I LOVE ADVENTURE TIME I HATE MAD I LOVE ADVENTURE TIME I HATE MAD I LOVE ADVENTURE TIME I HATE MAD I LOVE 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Why is there a black president? Cause you voted for him. Thanks! Dick.

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How many licks does it take to get to the center of a Tootsie Roll Pop? Depends. Are you applying a lot of pressure and licking in short, round bursts, or are you softly suckling on the treat? Your mouth's pH level is also a determining factor, as the sucker digests at a quicker rate the higher the acid content. To put it simply, there is no correct answer, because the sheer quantity of variables makes it a tootsie-less endeavor. See how I said tootsie-less rather than fruitless? Now that's a real joke.

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Q: Why didn't i save my work? A: Because i didn't do any work?

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Why did the little boy run away from the beach? Hurricane Irene.

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Knock knock. Come right on in.

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A cowboy walks in to a bar and says to the guy behind the counter "Can I have a glass of water?". The bar tender shot a gun and missed the cowboy by an inch. The cowboy said thanks. Why? Because the cowboy had the hiccups

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What do you call people in a plane crash? Whatever, i wasn't on the plane.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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