Uh... What was emulating again?

I once had my heart broken by my first true love. I then died, she was convicted of murder and my family grieved over my death.

What's another name for asexual reproduction? Parthenogenesis.

hey I just met you, and this is crazy. I have alzheimers. Hey i just met you.

3 Men walk into a bar, they all order up a drink. And then they paid their tabs and left.

Q: How do you make Helen Keller cry? A: Casually remind her that she is both blind and deaf.

Joe goes to the bathroom with someone in the next stall named Bill Bill: "Hi" Joe: "Hi" Bill: "How you doing" Joe: "Good" Bill: "You traveling" Joe: "Yes to Alabama" Bill: "Yeah, I got to go a guy in the next stall answering all my questions bye"

Why was it okay for the people in the hospital to laugh at the patient with narcolepsy? It wasn't. The patients were treated due to moral obligations. But the doctors that laughed had either been fired or warned, depending on if there were previous reports of exploitation of patients.

Why Is Helen Keller such a bad driver? Because she is a woman

What's worse then biting into your apple and finding a worm? Biting into your apple and finding two worms.

Mahjdichdhsjxidjhsbxu shcowiqx own hdqu Hedgehog the third

What did Superman say to Batman when they first met? Nothing. They are not real.

You are driving a canoe home when the wheels suddenly fall off. How many pancakes does it take to fill a doghouse?

What happends when two gay guys want to have kids? They can't, so they go to an orphanage and adopt one.

A guy walks into a bar. He loses conciseness because of the force of the metal bar hitting his skull.

Two guys are on a bridge. One commits suicide, the other one is called John.

Why did Jenny fall off her bike? She had no arms Knock knock Who's there Not Jenny

What did the suicide bomber say to the other suicide bomber? You're da bomb!

What's red, orange, yellow, green, blue, and purple? The Color Wheel.

Why did Timmy drop his ball? Because he was hit by a bus. A) Knock knock? B) Who's there? C) Not Timmy

Why was the guy coverd in garbage. I don't know but their are a lot of homeless people that can't afford the good stuff.

Why did Rudolph poop while flying over Chicago? Actually, he had to go since trip started, and that's just where it happened to land.

Knock knock Who's this? Your neighbor Yes can I help you? Hi, I'm new around here, can you help me find the closest gas station? Turn right over there pass 2 traffic lights it will be on your left Okay, thank you You're welcome

Start by getting your fucking ass off this site and get me the fucking money asap yourself! And your contact information! Fuck your "eye for an eye" piece of shit example, I want redemption! If I am to live with self respect after losing a FUCKING EYEBALL! I demand that you lose EVERYTHING YOU HOLD DEAR! YOU FUCKING QUEER HYPOCRITE! And I am not asking that you take away everything, I will take everything you hold dear away from you myself! Then again, why do that when I can get straight to the source and break your spine, and that is just the first step to making you wish you where dead! That you end up begging me for THE SWEET MERCY OF DEATH! Listen, if you want to talk, lets talk, if you claim to be so fucking powerful get on a goddamn jet and get over here yourself, no goons, no "shadows", no "followers" of "your order" when you present it, and "our order" when YOU FUCK UP! Only then will I "listen to reason", it is only reasonable you come out of your fucking hiding place and face me! I wont fight you, I wont kill you, but you better get your fucking face over here yourself.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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