4 gay men walk into a bar,but there is only one stool..... What do they do? Turn it over

thumb_up thumb_down +16

What sound does a baby in a blender make? I don't know, I was too busy masturbating.

thumb_up thumb_down +16

Why did Sarah fall off the swing? She doesn't have arms. Knock, knock, Who's there? Not Sarah.

thumb_up thumb_down +16

Vote this down and get DOXED

thumb_up thumb_down +16

Q: How do you make a black man think you're racist? A: Racism

thumb_up thumb_down +16

What did Annie the Orphan get for Christmas? News that her parents are dead.

thumb_up thumb_down +16

There's two people, one wearing a nice sweater and the other is not. The one without has to walk the dog, so he asks the other guy if he can have his sweater. He says "No but you can wear it."

thumb_up thumb_down +16

What is green fuzzy and can kill you if it falls out of a tree? A pool table

thumb_up thumb_down +16

Winter

thumb_up thumb_down +16

What's long and really hard? The fourth grade.

thumb_up thumb_down +16

Knock Knock Who’s there? Wolf Wolf who? Wolf who!? Is that really the first question that comes to mind when confronted with a talking wolf?

thumb_up thumb_down +16

How many dead babies can fit in the trunk of my car? Seven.

thumb_up thumb_down +16

A man walks into a pole He breaks his nose And bleeds to death

thumb_up thumb_down +16

What do you call a paralyzed man on a fishing boat? Robert

thumb_up thumb_down +16

Why'd the littler girl fall of the swing? because a drunk driver ran through the swing, the little girl was killed. he was later charged with manslaughter.

thumb_up thumb_down +16

A dog got into a gingerbread house. She ate some and brought some to the basement it got on the couch!

thumb_up thumb_down +16

How do you make a Chef cry? You kill his family.

thumb_up thumb_down +16

Why doesn't Mexico have an Olympic team? They do, they just choose not to compete certain years.

thumb_up thumb_down +16

What's red and smells like blue paint? red paint

thumb_up thumb_down +16

Why did the black guy cross the road? Because he found a crosswalk with a walk symbol near his destination.

thumb_up thumb_down +16

Knock, knock. Who's there? Who. Who who? "My name ism't really who, it's Thomas. I thought it'd be funny if I made you say who who, as though imitating an owl. However, I understand that childish jokes like that are not funny and if anything stupid and immature. I am sorry for wasting your time. I will go continue my solitary life alone in a crappy tenement... Damn government. They have money to fight wars against foreign countries and yet no money goes to feeding the poor. Do you think life of easy for me loving like this?! I'm such a lost cause not even my own parents want to see me! And I'll be damned if they're still alive. A dad who beat me and got drunk even night, and a mom with breast cancer"(Thomas, overwhelmed, proceeds to have a mental breakdown). The man at the door comes out to comfort him. "It's alright man. i'll help you out." He let's Jeffrey stay with him for the next four months. They both get raped by a T-Rex.

thumb_up thumb_down +16

Sally went to an R-Kelly concert what happend when she came out? No one because R-Kelly peed on sally and cops came in.

thumb_up thumb_down +16

How much wood would a wood chuck chuck if a wood chuck could chuck wood?  The woodchuck's ability to chuck has been left indeterminable. Therefore until the wood chuck's prowess in wood chucking is brought to light we must leave it a variable. Using the coefficient (L) to represent wood that can possibly be chucked. Then using (C) to represent the life cycle of said wood chuck chucking. We are also assuming this woodchuck will remain vigilante and not require food or sleep for the entire duration of chucking ultimately lowering is maximum chucking output. From this we can determine the W.C.P.S. (wood chucks per second). Finally subtract the remaining wood (RW) from the chucked total and we have rendered that :  L(W.C.P.S) - (C -RM/t) = X

thumb_up thumb_down +16

911 jokes are just plane wrong

thumb_up thumb_down +16

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops