Q: What do they call watermelons in Indiana A:watermelons

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Got Milk? Why yes! Yes I do!

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Why did the garbage man cross the road? He was doing his job.

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What do you call a black man on the moon? An astronaut.

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Knock knock. Who's there- oh wait, I don't care. Get away from my house or I am going to call the police.

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What do you say to a cashier? How much is it?

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How do you get someone to shut up? Shove a fork down their throat and hang them by thier thumbs

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Oh my God! A talking dog!

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Why did the blond wreak her car? She stayed up a very long time studying for her mid-term exam, And therefore, was not as attentive to the flow of traffic.

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Asians

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Q:What do you call chocolate without a gag reflex? A: Choc-o-late (Choke a lot)

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Rick Santorum 2012

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Whats black, yellow and white? my wives

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What do you say to an over weight Jewish mother? "Work on those crunches" He was her coach.

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Yo mamma so stupid Her IQ is sub par

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Q: Why did they laugh at the black guy? A: He told a funny joke.

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What's funnier than 24? Many things, the number 24 is not very humorous.

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Technically I did not try to, but I made you believe I tried in vain, so your subconcious is unable to register that it is under a state of trance, you could deny it, but you are in a state of trance right now. So how big are your breasts?

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A Jew, an atheist, and an Asian man walk into a bar. They all have a drink and then go home to their families

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What's the most confusing day in Mexico? Father's Day.

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So this guy walks into a bar and– Nevermind it's really not that funny.

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What's worse than the Holocaust? Nothing, shit went down so bad.

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A man named Chuck walks into a bar. One of the patrons says, "Oh my god! You're Walker, Texas Ranger!" Chuck replies, "No, that's Chuck Norris. I'm Chuck Connors. I played the Rifleman." The man replies, "Wait, aren't you dead?"

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In the attic lights Voices scream Nothin' seen Real's the dream Leaving the things that are real behind Leaving the things that you love from mind All of the things that you learned from fears Nothin' is left for the years Voices scream Nothin' seen Real's the dream Toys, toys, toys In the attic Toys, toys, toys In the attic Toys, toys, toys In the attic Toys, toys, toys In the attic Lights, voices scream Nothin' seen Real's the dream Leaving the things that are real behind Leaving the things that you love from mind All of the things that you learned from fears Nothin' is left for the years Voices scream Nothin' seen Real's the dream Toys, toys, toys In the attic Toys, toys, toys In the attic Toys, toys, toys In the attic Toys, toys, toys In the attic Toys, toys, toys In the attic Toys, toys, toys In the attic Toys, toys, toys In the attic

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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