a blind man drinking from a dog, thinking it was a fountain

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why is a peanut butter and jelly sandwich the same as a tub of fish? they are both food

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Why didn't the chicken cross the road? ... Well, do you know or not?

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yo moma is so poor she cant afford free samples

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How do you get a clown off of a swing? You throw an axe at its face.

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Little Jimmy had walked in on his parents. "Mummy what are you doing with dad?" "Baking a cake" She replied. Two hours later the cake had then cooled and was consumed by all.

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Why did the boy hate his mom? She was a fucking bitch.

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what did johnny's dad say to him after his baseball game? nothing because johnny's dad was an abusive alcoholic who beat him until the neighbors found out and called the police. the dad was arrested, tried in court then promptly thrown in jail were he was raped in the showers repeatedly by a very large and intimidating black man. he vomited suicide in his cell today by drinking drain cleaner

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What did the guy say to the campgrounds? It was in tents (get it like intense but it is a pun)

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because it felt like it.

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QUIT PUSHING DAD GUMMIT!!!

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Whats better than sitting here writing anti jokes? Sitting in ENGLISH and writing anti jokes. Shoutout to Link Deas

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What's green and smells like yellow paint? Green paint.

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*Knock knock* Who's there? No one answers so the man opens the door and gets stabbed 7 times in the chest

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What's white and would kill you if it fell out of a tree? A refrigerator.

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Knock knock Who's there? Cow Cow who? If you really think about it, it's really now

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There's now a sandwich named after Jerry Sandusky, it's got 60 year old meat stuffed between buns barely out of the oven.

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A Jew, a Muslim and a Christian walk into a bar. The Muslim is dissatisfied with the choice of the meeting place since the Islam forbids drinking alcoholic beverages.

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"is it just me or is it getting really hot in here?" "the house is on fire and we are locked in"

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What happened to the man who had the most loving parents and family when he was born, had an amazing childhood which he shared with so many good friends, was loved everywhere, helped the poor, started a fundraiser for starving kids in africa, got a college education, helped a complete stranger get off his drug addiction, married a beautiful woman, bought a nice house and had 3 children who he loved dearly and spent time with as much as he possibly could, tucked them in every night and enjoyed every second of his life as if it was his last? He died.

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If you have ten apples, and I take away three, then you will only have seven apples left, because ten minus three is seven. On the other hand, if I have a hundred apples, and you take away ninety-six, then I will call the police on you because that is stealing and it is not allowed. I will also remove you from my friends list on Facebook because stealing isn't nice.

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who is 2 chainz? no one 2 chains is just 2 chains. spelled with an "s" not a "z"

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What did the asian do with his homework? finish it. as is expected from children his age.

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Q: What's the difference between Catholism and Judiasm? A: There are many substantial and vital distinctions between Judaism and Christianity. Of course, there are many similarities as well, primarily because Christianity emerged from Judaism. However, the emergence was not a direct line. Christianity broke from Judaism, forming a new religion, so it is misleading, however comfortable the thought might be, to believe that the two religions are essentially the same, or to see Christianity as the natural continuation of Judaism.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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