why cant dinosaurs talk? because they're all dead.

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A man and a hobo meet on a narrow path. What does the hobo do? Finds the mans wife and impregnateds her, aborts the baby, takes dead fetus chops it up and makes the man eat it in a salad. While the man is chocking he shotes him and walks on.

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There were 3 children: Flower, Petal and Fridge. Flower asked, "Mum, why is my name Flower?" to which she replied "Because a flower was the first thing to fall on you when you were born." Petal asked, "Mum, why is my name Petal?" to which she replied "Because a petal was the first thing to fall on you when you were born." Fridge said, "Herp derp dur" to which Fridge's mother replied "Shut up, Fridge."

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what happened to the guy that got shot in the head? Nothing, it was a water gun.

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Q: How many black guys does it take to black top a driveway? A: I can't give you a definitive answer unless I know the area to be covered, the thickness of material to be applied, and the capabilities of each individual working that particular day.

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The past the present and the future walk into a bar it made no logical sense that three things that will always contradict each other exist with each other and can walk into a bar without limbs or being alive it wasn't tense it made no sense

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A Mormon walks out of a bicycle store.

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A: Hi I am a Mormon B: I know I'm one of your wifes

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What did the farmer say when he lost his tractor? Where's my tractor

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knock knock who's there aids aids who ... dumb ass

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What do you call a black woman who had 4 abortions? A Crimestopper

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Your mom is soo fat that when God said "let there be light" he had to ask her to move

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Why was the woman in the kitchen? Because she is enjoying the meal her husband has prepared for her after a long day at her second full-time job of the day

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Why was the 2-year-old girl found dead in the swamp? Her mom was Casey Anthony.

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what do u call something black and hanging from a tree.............................. a black guy

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A person from Singapore eats

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You are in a room with no doors and no windows. All you have a chainsaw and a mirror. How do you get out? You don't and will slowly die a painful death of asphyxiation.

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what did the white guy say to the black guy at the homeless shelter? Hi.

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what did Dr. Dre say? Nothing you idiots! Dr. Dre's dead!

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what did Marvin Gay's father say to him before he died? "hey come listen to this 45 real quick"

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A: My dog has no nose! B: How does he smell? A: He cannot smell, because he has no nose.

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A boy is eating with his family. A man in the next booth tells him "You are very handsome and you will be a movie star when you grow up." Then the man leaves. On the way out, the boy's mom says "You know he was drunk, right?"

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Michael Jackson will always be remembered for touching...the hearts of many.

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hey did you hear about Osama bin laden? He was found by the CIA and killed on account of his atrocious actions.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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