Yo mamas so ugly that when she went to an ugly contest the host said "sorry no Professionals"

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One day a young gentleman was walking down the street. He sees a wounded dog laying there on the sidewalk. He goes to tend to the wounded animal. It bites his hand. He rushes to the hospital and tests positive for rabies. The man has to be vaccinated and the dog terminated.

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How do you know an elephant has gotten into your refrigerator? The refrigerator is lying on its side and the door is ripped off. The food is all over the place and the shelves are scattered around the floor. Your house will have suffered severe structural damage that insurance plan might not cover. Also there is a mortified elephant in you kitchen.

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Why did sally fall of the swing? She had no arms or legs Knock knock who's there? Not sally

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where would you find a blind man's car? exactly where he left it...

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Xzibit

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What do you call a man with no arms or legs in water? Drowning

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Why didn't the skeleton go to the dance? He had nobody to go with :)

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Yo mama so poor that she's having trouble making ends meet without government assistance.

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Which square is small and yellow? The small, yellow square.

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A seven foot tall kindergartener walks into a bar. He is reduced to tears after being ridiculed for his inordinate height and unappealing physical appearance. A bartender then proceeds to escort him out of the bar for being underaged. -BG_Shank_A

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Why are black people good at basketball? While there are many preternaturally gifted black men and women in professional basketball, the notion that one race holds sway over the others in terms of sheer skill and talent is a ridiculous stereotype; propagated, no doubt, by both ignorant and jealous persons of other colors.

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HOW DO YOU KILL A BLACK MAN? YOU DONT

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how do you tell the difference between a jew and a muslim? you ask them what their religion is.

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Yo mamas so fat,you know wht, i think she might die !!

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If I said you had a beautiful body would you stop asking me if those jeans make you look fat?

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Who is the most vile man in Britain? Jerry Carr, the guy who works at the casino.

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What did the boy with a crippled arm get for his birthday? A guitar.

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"I know it. I can feel it in my nuggets." -Chicken Joe

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sdfrgtyuki

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because chickens are polemicists.

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It is the conjoining of the two possible outcomes of the interstellar and post modern possibilities of the pasta pudding god's niece's favorite colour after she falls off her bike whilst riding down a yellow slide after her twenty-seventh birthday when the two suns form a triangle in the night sky over the delta. Yes indeed that was good pudding.

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a Dyslexic, Agnostic, Insomniac stayed up all night, wondering if there really was a dog.

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What was the pirates favorite letter? Q.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops