What do you do if you have a worm in your apple you throw it away

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a man walks into a bar, only it was an alternate universe so there were dogs running the bar. the bartender dog called human control because it was unsanitary to have a human in a bar. the human was then escorted out by another dog and was taken to a hotel where he received no continental breakfast.

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how many birds did chuck norris kill with one stone? one.

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What do you call an art history major with a job? A gainfully employed member of society, who assuredly benefited from his access to higher education (and quite possibly from acquaintances or family members within the company that employs him, though it is often considered impolite to mention this latter fact, as it may be construed to denigrate the aforementioned individual or his chosen field of study).

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There was a little boy and a little girl in a bathtub having a bath. Suddenly the little girl looked down at the boy. "Can I touch it?" "No way -- you already broke yours off!"

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What do you call a person with no arms? Armless.

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Womens rights

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:) Hey AMBY VALENT! Want to join our horsehead show below?? *Laughing track with that fat loud bitch that wont stop laughing making the actors stare at each other like douches* :/ Muuh, I dont really care im just some meh character anyway so yuh...' *Laughing track* ? ???? ORAORAORAORAORAORAORAORA! :( Hey get outta our show here you China man! *OOOH! Track plays with some fa*ott whistling* ? ???? | Baka! *leaves* *Awww track plays* *Laughing track*

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What's the similarities between a spoon and a duck. Both are not a lamp

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How do you annoy a farmer? Shoot his wife.

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what's the difference between a black man and a bench? the bench is an inanimate object

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What happenes if you put an elephant in the fridge? Nothing, it wouldnt fit.

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One day, 2 people were gonna fight after school and then the final bell rung. The fight began and the challenger says, "Hey whats the one thing you say when you don't want to fight anymore and you let the other person win?" The other guy says to the challanger, "I give up?" Then the challenger yells. "I WIN!"

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Knock knock, Who's th- IMA FIRIN' MA LAZOR

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What animal has four legs and one hand? Happy rottweiler

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Whats slippery and wet? A wet slipper.

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Where did Susie go when the bomb went of? Everywhere?

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Patient: "So what seems to be the problem doc? Doctor: "I'm afraid you have AIDS. I'm sorry."

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In Soviet Russia life had both pros and cons.

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What's the difference between a Jew and a pizza? A Jew is a person who adheres to the Jewish faith and claims a cultural or ancestral connection to the Jewish people, and a pizza is an oven-baked, flat, disc shaped bread usually topped with tomato sauce and mozzarella and then a selection of meats, depending on taste and culture.

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What did the Dementia sufferer get for Christmas?

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Why did the chicken cross the road? We will never know. Chickens are incapable of communicating with humans and thus the intent of the chicken is subject to speculation.

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Why doesn't the man like iced tea? Because he likes it hot.

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So three hikers decide to face the deadly challenge of climbing Mount Everest. They were unaware of the risks, and were all brutally killed in an avalanche.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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