A redhead walks into a bar. The bartender asks him if he wants a drink. He says yes.

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Roses are red. Violets are red. Sunflowers are red. My garden is on fire.

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Q. Why did the 8 year girl scream and cry when she was raped? A. I have no idea either. I drugged her and taped her mouth closed.

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What do a grape and an elephant have in common? They're both purple, except for the elephant.

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why did sally drown cause she was black

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Have you heard of the lawnmower joke? (NO) Neither have I!

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Poop.

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two men are in a bathroom (note they are not in the same stall) the guy on the left says how are you and the guy on the right says hold on im pooping.

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The man says to the doctor "Sir, I have contracted a terrible headache." The doctor replies back, "Yes you do."

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What do you call a man with no arms and no legs? A man with no arms and no legs

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What's worse than a holocaust? two holocausts.

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Why did the little girl fall off the swing? She didn't have any arms.

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If monkeys ate trees, than what would trees be made out of? No one knows because that will never happen.

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Why does Bugs Bunny have big ears? Because he's a rabbit

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A man goes to the pound to adopt a dog and sees a very shaggy dog and says "WOW! Thats a shaggy dog I'll take it!" So the man takes home his new dog and decides to enter the dog in the towns anual shaggy dog contest. and wins. After winning the town shaggy dog contest he moves up to the county shaggy dog contest. theres no competition. Now the man and his dog enter into the state shaggy dog contest, the states shaggiest dogs are all competing. the man wins. Finally the man and his dog are in the prestigious national shaggy dog contest. The judge walks up to the man and says "your dog isn't very shaggy"

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how much does a pirate pay for an earing? $2.50

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why did the chicken cross the road? well... to get to the other side.

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what did the black guy say to the white guy im black

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A friend? Just a friend that you told to stop pretending to be me? And you had no idea whatsoever that I am Nero as in not one of the six hundred thousand wabbabes?

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How do you blindfold an Asian person? Take a price of cloth and put it over his eyes

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What's under there? I'm not falling for that one...

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Friends are like potatoes - when you eat them they die.

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Q. When you drink two 5 hour energies, do you get 10 hours of energy or double the energy for 5 hours? A. You die

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Why did the woman spray a black man in the eyes with pepper spray, then promptly run away? Because the woman was a notorious criminal and was currently robbing the man's house, but was caught in the act so she used pepper spray as her last line of defense while she fled from the scene before the man could call the police to detain her and put her in prison for her crimes.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops