Q: What's your dog's name ? A: Dog. Q: What's your cat's name ? A: Cat. Q: What's your dick's name A: Pinky

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what's grosser then 1000 babies stapled to a tree?? 1 baby stapled to 1000 trees

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You know, people are kind of like trees, they tend to fall over when you hit them multiple times with an axe.

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Why did the black kid die? He had cancer.

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How many babies does it take to paint a wall? depends on how hard you throw them

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Biggest lie in America: Sorry, that was my last stick of gum.

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You scream I scream We all screamed when the chicken crossed the road

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Why did the chicken cross the road? There was no traffic for miles and the chicken was in search of basic needs.

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A duck walks into a bar, guess what the bartender does............ GIVES HIM A SEAT AND 6 FREE SHOTS! But instead of that the bartender promptly escort the duck out considering the fact that in all bars there is a no animal and/or pet policy so the duck went... and commitid a series of loud noises before he got to a hotel and hung itself, that is what any depressed hungover duck would do.

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Why the guy without two hands at the beach was so excited? Because he couldn't scratch his asshole.

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Person 1: 'Ask me if I'm a tree' Person 2: 'Are you a tree?' Person 1: 'No.'

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"I am proud to be black and I wouldn't want to be any other race." - Not racist. "I am proud to be white and I wouldn't want to be any other race." - Racist and offensive to black people "I am proud to be asian and I wouldn't want to be any other race." - Not racist "I am proud to be Ethiopian and I wouldn't want to be any other race." - Said nobody, ever

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What did the brick say to the wall? Nothing, as they are both inanimate objects that lack knowledge and the sense to speak.

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So everything, the chat we had before was all you know, a game so I would call you? I am not sleepy but I can wait until you can confirm everything.

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What do you get when you cross an elephant and a rhino? A one-way ticket to Hell for messing with God's creations, you heathen!

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How do you make a baby cry? Throw a brick at its face!

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What do you call a straight A student that takes 6 Vicodin's, 5 Percocet's, and 7 Adderalls? I don't know, but he will most likely die of drug overdose.

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Why didn't the chicken cross the road? It was simply tired of being mocked and judged by society.

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Boys have swag, real men have class

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Why did the moose cross the road? Migration.

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Knock knock? Who's there? Why don't you answer the damn door and find out for yourself?

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What's worse, a dead baby or an abortion? A dead baby on a bayonet

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Roses are red Violets are actually the color violet, contrary to popular belief.

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Why did Mary fall off the swing? She had no arms. Knock, knock? Who's there? Not Mary.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops