Roses are red Violets are blue I'm random but can still rhyme Hatsune Miku

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Hello

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What do you call a man with an Eye patch and no arms? Names.

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How do you annoy a farmer? Shoot his wife.

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because it was dead. Why did the chipmunk fall out of the tree? Because it was stapled to the monkey.

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Why was 6 afraid of 7? because 7 was a really creepy movie

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because it was dead. Why did the chicken fall out of the tree? Because it was stapled to the monkey.

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What did Helen Keller do at a concert? Sit.

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This is no joke. Well, I did warn you.

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Why did the black homeowner default on his house? He was paying significantly more in mortgage than the actual market value of the home, since he purchased his property before the housing bubble. He carried out a cost/benefit analysis and derived the conclusion that he was effectively destroying his own wealth by paying his mortgage bills.

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What is Helen Keller's favorite color? Velcro

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Q: What cat walks on two feet? A: Garfield Q: What mouse walks on two feet? A: Mickey Mouse Q: What duck walks on two feet? A: Donald Duck? A: No, all ducks you dipshit.

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A. What is the difference between a pizza and a Jew: B. Pizza's don't scream when you put them into a oven.

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3 Blondes walk into a bar. One ducks, the other two are hospitalized with mild concussions

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What do you call someone that blows up a plane? Nothing you were on that plane

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whats a diffrence between a bench and a black person the bench is a thing a black person is a human being

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What word rhymes with orange? -Adult onset diabetes

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A man crashed his boat and is lost in the ocean. He comes across a cruise ship, and they ask if he wants help. The man says, "No. God will save me, but thanks anyway." Later on that night, he is eaten by a shark.

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Doctor Doctor i've got wind can you give me something? Thats not wind the doctor replies thats a rare form of stomach cancer.

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A man goes to his doctor and says, "Help me, my wife thinks she's a chicken." The doctor recommends a nearby psychiatrist to analyze the wife's mental instability, and inevitably she is housed in an insane asylum. The husband commits suicide.

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Want to get shot? Go to Virginia Tech. Too Soon?

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Elephants can jump higher than the tallest building. You know why? It's because buildings can't jump.

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Why did the kid give a bad presentation in class? He knew basically nothing about the topic, and on top of that had a large erection.

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When is a door not a door? When your house burns down.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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