How many babies does it take to paint a wall? Depends how hard you throw them.

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A pirate walks into a doctors office with ship's wheel attached to his crotch. Pirate: "Arrrrrr, do ya accept Kaiser Permanente?" Doctor: "Yes, but there's a $20 co-pay."

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I like it, I like it becuase it is cream

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Why did the baker turn off the oven? He had run out of business

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A woman is on an escalator, which stops, then she cries. Why? The escalator is in a hospital and stops because the power has failed. She was going to visit her husband who is on life support, which has now but out.

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A horse walks into a bar and the bartender asks "Why the long face?" The horse replies, "I have AIDS".

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roses are red violet is blue sugar is sweet f*ck you im a moon

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What are blacks scared of? The kkk

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What do you call a black fire-fighter? A hero.

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What do you call a black person who has fallen? an ambulance

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What did the black man get for Christmas? A felony conviction.

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what did God say on the 7th day? -zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz

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If a tree falls on a deaf person, does anyone care?

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A gay man walks into McDonald's. McDonald's serves people of all sexualities.

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One day an Indian boy asked his father why they have such long names? The dad answered him in a such a simple and concise way, that the little boy understood.

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Why did the man shoot up the movie theater? Because he spent his whole child hood playing Call of Duty Black Ops II, Left 4 Dead 2, and Minesweeper. And video games, are the only thing that would rive someone to shoot up a movie theater.

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What starts with P and ends with "oop" POOP

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Did you know Hellen Keller had a swingset? No I didn't. Ya it was actually really nice.

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There are two muffins are in an oven. One muffin says, "Holy shit its hot in here!" The other muffin says, "I concur..."

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...The new series of spinoff movies from the worlds most frightening franchise! Pretty Normal Activity: Doing the groceries *****-Did not scare me at all :D! Ballbusters movie rentals *****- The demon never showed up which made this the scariest movie ever! Could not sleep for months... Whatyumean there is nothing paranormal in this? Aww FU*beep*CK!! Sumgay Inthestreet Journal *****-Pissed myself just from hearing the title got a stroke and almost died!, was it another Paranormal movie you said? Most overhyped comment we could find. Goddamn exaggerated movie reviews that fooled me into buying the original and expect something actually scary :(

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What's green and fuzzy, has 4 legs, and if it falls from a tree it'll kill you? A pool table.

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Just the other day there was a house, and unforunatly Bob was a burn victim, the doctors said that he would have had a slow and excruciatingly painful death... Luckily he was already dead!

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If Miley Cyrus has the ability to come in like a wrecking ball, how come she can't twerk?

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What did Santa say to the prostitute? "Merry Christmas!"

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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