I drink poodle juice for breakfast lunch and dinner I was then turned into a tree

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what did the dog say to the mailman? woof.

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What did one Platypus say to the other Platypus? Nothing, Platypuses can't talk. However, they are the only mammal to lay eggs.

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Q: How do you cure cancer? A: By die aids first

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There's a Christian preist, Jesus, and a Jewish rabi on a boat. They want to go fishing, but they forgot the sunscreen, the bait, and the fishing line. The Christian preist walks across the water and goes and gets the Sunscreen. Jesus walks across the water and gets the bait. The Jewish rabi steps out of the boat and drowns. Jesus turns to the Priest and says, "Do you suppose we should have told about the underwater bridge?"

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Yo mama so fat when she sat around the hous she sat AROUND the house

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hello there i am a male from the small town of balamory and i have just found a very large oblong with an acute right angle strongly attached to the left hand side........do you think i should hand it to the new york extra torestial services ?

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What is long and painful? It's a sword, get your mind out of the gutter.

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One day a man walked into a wall

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What happens when a man farts a fancy memorial party in a ball room in England... At least 1000 people die somewhere on earth in the time his butt squeezed out that fart. And I'm sure someone gets raped.

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Q: Why does the black guy eat watermelon A: Because it's a delicious nutritious snack

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What's 9+10? 19.

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Why was 6 afraid of 7? Because 7 was a registered sex offender who recently got out of federal prison after a 20 year sentence.

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Hitler has a certain "genocide-quaw" about him

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A man walks into his local store, he gets a basket and get a tin of beans, an apple, some kitchen rolls a bag of potatoes and an 8 pack of sausages. He walks to the checkout and the lady working asks him ''Are you single?'' He replies ''Yes, i am actually, how did you know?'' The lady then says ''Because your Ugly as Sin''

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What device will find furniture in a poorly lit room every time? An infrared camera.

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what is long on joe? Not his dick thats for sure.

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Fathers Day at Tyrone's house.

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Knock knock Who's there? The police. The police who? Your stupid.

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Q: what's blue and kills you when it falls from the sky? A: a whale no shit

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What is small, green, lives 10 meters under the ground and eat rocks? The little green rock eater!

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Ask me if I'm a rock. Are you a rock? No.

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Cody went to the store. Big Floppy Donkey Dick.

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The man was allergic to water. He unfortunately died because water is needed to sustain health as a human.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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