Did you hear about the new German oven? Seats 40.

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What's green and fuzzy and if it fell out of a tree it could kill you? A pool table

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shut up kobe!

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Billy was curious if gasoline burns, so he decided to...... .... O crap I'm late for Billy's funeral.

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What's worse than a duck with one leg? A nuclear explosion

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If Johnny can hold 7 bottles of Vodka in one hand and 6 cans of beer in the other, what does Johnny have? A drinking problem.

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Why did the blonde go to business school? She wanted to get into business, and decided that a business degree was a good place to begin.

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a dad farts in the woods nothing else happens

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What did the boy reading the book do? He kept turning pages and reading until he came to the end, closed the book, and put it back onto the book shelf.

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What is green fuzzy and can kill you if it falls out of a tree? A pool table

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Man walks into a bar and goes, "Ouch!"

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Q: What do you call a black guy flying a plane? A: A pilot you racist.

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why did the grandmom make rollerblades into cookies? because she had dementia

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What do you call a person who drinks beer a lot? Alcohol abuser.

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Q: Why do sharks live in salt water A: Because if they don't the die from blood loss because their blood-cells swell up and explode in non- salty water.

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What did the dinosaur and John Wayne say to the Easter Bunny? Nothing, they're both dead and the Easter Bunny isn't real.

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Dude man, I'm high...

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Why didn't little Billy's parents get him the new toy he wanted? Little Billy's parents are dead.

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what do you do when you see a black man getting hitted by a Mexican taxi? -Call 911

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Knock Knock. Who's there? Jason. Jason who? The person who is answering the door hears a chainsaw start up and suddenly realizes that Jason is the murderer from Friday the Thirteenth. The person goes and gets their shotgun, ready to blast Jason's head of when he breaks in.

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whats green andthrows forks at you? a blonde painted green in a bush wih a gun and a fly on her eye

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What do you call a three toed 9 foot man. His name.

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Why did th chicken cross the road? To get to the other side. Why did the cupboard cross the road? It was stapled to the chicken.

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Why did the little girl fall off the swings? Because at the climax point in the swing, gravity is making a much larger affect on you because you are pulling farther away from the earth as well as positioning your body in a way where it is awkward and unstable to support your body, which greatly increases the chance of you falling off and landing on the ground.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops