what do you get if you put a baby in a microwave? an erection

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Q: How do you break into your own house? A:You don't....thats ridiculous(:

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A man walks into a bar. He's black. Its 1962. He is immediately arrested.

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I like my coffee the way I like my women.....without a penis.

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How many dead babies can you fit in a bath tub? 27

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what's grosser then 1000 babies stapled to a tree?? 1 baby stapled to 1000 trees

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What did the plane say to the other plane? Boy, those towers fall!

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How do you teach an old dog a new trick? Answer: You can't

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What's the best way to cross the road? Ideally with your feet and legs because disabled people usually don't recommend their unfortunate state of affairs. However there are other alternatives which may or may not be better than common or garden walking, such as crane hire - crossing in a crane bucket in a safe spot; chauffer driven limos, which don't do the straight, direct route, generally; and being carried on a replica of Cleopatra's carry couch (but with modern suspension, unless you prefer the up and down motion).

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A man comes home after a long days work. It is late at night and he gets in bed with his wife who is already asleep. Later that night he gets up for a glass of water and returns to the bed room to see that his wife doesn't appear to be breathing and calls 911. He then realizes that this isn't his house and he leaves.

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Guess what? AIDS!

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What kind of horse can do a backflip? No kind of horse.

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Why did the black girls wear fancy clothes to the mall? Public nudity is considered a crime in many parts of the world. It would be advisable to wear clothes in public areas, so as to avoid being arrested.

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Q: What happened to the man who died? A: Nothing, there is no afterlife.

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Why did the boy yawn? Because he was tired.

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Two polar bears are sitting in a bathtub. One polar says to the other, "Pass the soap please." And the other polar bear says, "No soap, radio!"

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What did the girl with no arms or legs get for Christmas? A bike!

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Where's the best place to buy moon bars? Michael Toal

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what is almost like Jesus? Jesus

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Whats Brown and Sticky A) a stick

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Why was 6 afraid of 7? He wasn't: 9 was a dick.

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why did bob fall off the swing Because he got hit by a microwave

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Why did the italian go to jail? because he had just robbed a bank and then brutally murdered his wife and kids.

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How do you make a lumberjack cry? By murdering his family.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops