- Anti Joke

Why did the mathematician go to jail? Because he killed his wife.

What to you call a heavy person, Someone overweight

What do you call a cat that gets pushed into the pool? Angry as hell.

Why did the little boy cry? Because his parents were shot in the face while he was forced to watch you insensitive jerk Now walk away ????

The funniest thing about this joke is that by the time you realise it doesn't say anything its to late to stop reading it

Girlfriend: Hey, you know whats the cutest thing ever? COMIC SANS Stabs girlfriend in the eyes.

What did the worm say to the butterfly? Nothing, worms don't talk.

Do the roar!

My mom told me and my brother to clean up o te commercial...but we were watching Netflix

Why did the cupcake walk into the bar? It can't it's a cupcake

wanna hear a joke? i dont

What has potential but is in fact disappointing? This joke.

AWWWWWW YEEESSSS!!!

Who told the gorilla he couldn't go to the ballet? The people who were in charge of making that decision.

why did the mexican cross the road? To get into America. Why did the chicken cross the road? It was on its way to warn everyone that the sky was falling Why did the horse go to the other side of the field? He liked green grass. Why did Chuck Norris cross the road? cause he's Chuck Norris. What do you call a man who gets a check in the mail every month for doing nothing? A black man

Which is longer? A rope...

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Hitler walks up to a little girl at a concentration camp: - How old are you? - I'm turning 7 tomorrow! - Nope.

A man dies on the operating table and finds himself in front of the Pearly Gates. St Peter looks at him and says " You are having a hallucination due to all the drugs they have given you and because your brain releases chemicals when you die. I am not real and there is not heaven or a god." Upon resuscitation the man contemplates his hallucination and becomes an Atheist.

Little Jack Horner sat in a corner eating a Christmas pie. He died the next morning because it was Easter and the pie had remained unrefrigerated since the holidays. His parents were brought up on charges of neglegent homocide. Plus, they had a meth lab in the guest bathroom and ran a prostituion ring off of Craig's list. Jack's sister is now in the care of loving foster parents,who plan on adopting her and she misses her brother. Easter is a sad reminder of her former life, even though she is now a devout Christian and acknowledges the day as that of our Lord's ressurection. She plans on going to college to study nursing, someday.

What do you call a girl with no legs? Disabled

Roses are red Violets are blue I kill children dont worry about it

This is a shovels and rakes conversation. No hoes allowed.

A man walks into his local store, he gets a basket and get a tin of beans, an apple, some kitchen rolls a bag of potatoes and an 8 pack of sausages. He walks to the checkout and the lady working asks him ''Are you single?'' He replies ''Yes, i am actually, how did you know?'' The lady then says ''Because your Ugly as Sin''

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK! Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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