Why cant white guys jump? Well that would be wrong because some can. Have you seen Blake Griffen?

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whats the diffrents beetween a footballer and a hat nothing i lke chesse

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How do you stop a group of black guys from fighting? go over to them and ask them politely to stop.

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Q. Why was the black man sad? A. He had a book nailed into is leg.

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How do you cure cancer? do i look like NASA?

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What's worse then finding a worm in ur apple? Nothing it sucks and it's a waste of an apple

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Why did the chicken cross the road? It didn’t get to cross the road. Halfway through the crossing, it was hit by a car and turned into roadkill. Then a family of black people picked it up and turned it into fried chicken.

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How come dinosaurs don't talk? Because they're dead.

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Why was the fat kid the last one to lunch? He'd had lead bricks stapled to his ankles by the skinny kids.

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Who's blind but can see, deaf but can hear, and dumb yet can solve the most complex mathematical equations? Helen Keller-Norris

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Q: What did the kid with no arms and legs get for Christmas. A: A bicycle.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, I have Alzheimer's, Who are you?

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Go away nothing to see here,. I said go away

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What did the guy day to the other guy with an afro on his head? You look like a guy with an afro on his head.

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A man named Carl walks into a bar and sees another man named Ed who has purple skin and is holding a chinchilla in one hand and a policeman's helmet in the other. Carl approaches Ed and asks, "Why is your skin purple and why are you holding a chinchilla in one hand and a policeman's helmet in the other?" Ed replies stating, "Well its actually a pretty funny story. I was sailing near cape cod and a saw a large whale jump out of the water, and that gave me a really good idea. So I sailed home immediately and wrote a very detailed novel about my days in Vietnam. The book was a success and I was able to make a large amount of money. However, unfortunately I became addicted to cocaine and wasted all of my money and had to live on the streets. Since then, I have cleaned up my act and am working again and have a house. I decided to treat myself to a night out and so I came here and painted myself purple. Then, I found this chinchilla and policeman's helmet on the floor and decided to hold onto it until I find the owner. Now that I think about it, that story isn't very funny. I apologize." Carl then accepted the apology and the two had a drink together and are still good friends today.

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A man and his friend are talking. The man says, "You know what's funny? Sometimes you mean to say one thing and you say a completely different thing. Like the other day I wanted to buy a ticket to pittsburgh, but the lady I was buying it from had very large breasts, so I accidentally said 'Can I have a picket to titsburgh?'" And the other guy says, "Yeah, man, it's really funny you say that, the other day I meant to ask my wife to pass the salt, and I said 'you whore, you ruined my life'"

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What does the gay man do while he is taking a shower with many other men in a prison or a gym? Lathers soap all over his body to clean himself so he is not smelly.

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Once upon a time, Ducks THE END

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What's green and fuzzy and will kill you if it falls out of a tree? A pool table

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Q: Whats worse than being raped by a giant scorpion A: Getting raped by three giant scorpion's

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What's green and has wheels? Weed. I lied about the wheels.

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In what way are a pile of deceased children and a Ferrari F430 similar? Neither can be found in my garage, nor anywhere under my possession. As for the Ferrari, this is an unfortunate truth. Due to Ferraris' high level of desirability, and to their low supply, the cost of one such car is much more than an average person can afford. As for the pile of deceased children, anyone in possesion (for lack of a better term, as one can not truly possess another human being, even post mortem) of such a grotesque thing is probably too sick and twisted to be submitting jokes with no apparent climax in hopes of stimulating the minds of the joke's readers sense of humor.

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A man walks into a bar, looks to the right and sees a man one foot tall playing the piano, he sits at the bar and says to the bar tender,"I'm feeling kind of down" the bar tender gives him a bottle of very strong alcohol and later that night he goes home and hangs himself.

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Hey you wanna hear a joke? Sure! Well first, do you want part of my sandwich? No thanks.........Are you going to tell your joke? Joke? Um sure. I didn't know I was telling one. Roses are red. Violets are blue. I have Alzheimer's. Would you like part of my sandwich?

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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