Your momma's so fat: She regrets not making the most of her youth whilst she was still attractive.

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You know you are really drunk if your blood alcohol Is higher than .08

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How did the man want his hair cut? In silence.

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Fuzzy Wuzzy was a bear. Fuzzy Wuzzy had no hair Fuzzy Wuzzy died of cancer

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Roses are Red Violets are Blue If you think this is gonna rhyme, You're dead wrong.

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A man runs into a bar and yells "Ow!!" He is hospitalized due to severe trauma to the head and spine.

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Its a bird!! Its a plane!! No, its a bird.

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What do you call a black guy selling drugs? A pharmacist

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Why did the chicken cross the road? It didn't, as it was locked safely in the chicken coop.

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A squirrel walks up to a tree and says, "I forgot to store acorns for winter and now I am dead."

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What's the difference between Al Gore and a slab of formica? Many things, most obvious being that Al Gore is a conscious being.

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What did the boy with no arms or legs get for Christmas? A pogo stick. Just kidding. Cancer.

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Two muffins are sitting next to each other in the dessert. A hungry and lost man passes by and considered eating one of the muffins. Unfortunately he can't make a decision in time and took of in his 4-wheel drive. The next day a camel walks by and eats one of the muffins. The camel dies instantly, apparently the muffin the camel ate was poisoned. The now not so hungry and lost man looks at the dead camel and noticed the zoo is almost closing now. The man leaves in a hurry, to cook for his family.

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Why was the woman in the kitchen? Because she is enjoying the meal her husband has prepared for her after a long day at her second full-time job of the day

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How do you stop a baby from crawling in cirlcles? nail its hand to the floor

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What do you call a black man on a swing? Depends on what his name is

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Why wasn't the black man served at the bar? Because they didn't serve his kind there... Did I say black guy? I meant to say a horse, wait, did I say bar? I meant the barn, yes, a horse walks into a barn but they couldn't serve him because he wasn't tamed

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What did the boy say 9+9 was? The Holocaust

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Why did the man go to McDonalds? Because he was a pedophile.

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a duck walks up to a lemonade stand, says to the man running the stand. quack, because he's a duck

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Freddie Mercury died of AIDS. Many consider him a musical hero.

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That`s my friends phone, I can call you from mine too if you want, please just don't hurt me, let me speak to you, I promise I will explain everything.

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why does her hair shine so nicely? she uses good shampoo.

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Roses are red, Wait. Why start this poem when you cant finish it Refrigerator

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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